DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - Into Eloping mode-- made or spontaneous

**Lillie_Steins** · 06-15-2012, 11:35 PM

I have noticed that eloping is pretty common in India.When I was a student in India I had seen 2 cases of eloping.
A friend of mine helped 2 people from Bihar get married in a temple in Karnataka.
This couple were simple village Bihari Brahmins.Both boy and girl were Brahmins but some different subcaste so parents opposed the marriage.

I remember seeing the couple.Both shy and timid.

Another case was a Rajput girl and a Kerala boy who parents opposed the marriage cos the girl was from some royal family and the father didn't want a non Rajput.
But the Rajput's girl mum helped the daughter elope and marry the Kerala boy.

Frankly speaking eloping is a serious thing never to be considered.

We will always be at the mercy of the husband's side cos we ran away from our family.
At the beginning of any marriage love or arranged things look rosy and as time goes on true colors of people show up.

I just has a case today where a lady tried to hang herself when she found out her husband was having an affair.
She had grown up children and both husband and wife are in the late 50's.

So a marriage can break down anytime even at ripe old age.

So at any time never be at the mercy of anyone.

Feelings change over time.Most important for a girl is parental support.

Parents also should try to listen to their kids and understand their feelings and love.
Falling in love is NOT a crime so both girls and parents should take the initiative to discuss freely their expectations and desires.

I have noticed that most of those who elope actually are well behaved girls with almost spotless character.
They come from homes where they are not allowed to voice their feelings and when faced with problems they sometimes make the mistake of eloping.

Most of girls who come from homes where they are allowed to voice their opinions weigh the pros and cons of any relationship with their parents.
Parents even meet the boyfriends and then advise the daughter if she is making the right choice or not.
So in these families eloping is hardly seen and girl might even break off with a guy if her parents do not like her boyfriend.

Being too strict or too liberal with children always has unpleasant consequences.
Parents should take time to share feelings of their kids too.

06-15-2012, 11:35 PM	#2
Lillie_Steins Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 4,508 Senior Member	I have noticed that eloping is pretty common in India.When I was a student in India I had seen 2 cases of eloping. A friend of mine helped 2 people from Bihar get married in a temple in Karnataka. This couple were simple village Bihari Brahmins.Both boy and girl were Brahmins but some different subcaste so parents opposed the marriage. I remember seeing the couple.Both shy and timid. Another case was a Rajput girl and a Kerala boy who parents opposed the marriage cos the girl was from some royal family and the father didn't want a non Rajput. But the Rajput's girl mum helped the daughter elope and marry the Kerala boy. Frankly speaking eloping is a serious thing never to be considered. We will always be at the mercy of the husband's side cos we ran away from our family. At the beginning of any marriage love or arranged things look rosy and as time goes on true colors of people show up. I just has a case today where a lady tried to hang herself when she found out her husband was having an affair. She had grown up children and both husband and wife are in the late 50's. So a marriage can break down anytime even at ripe old age. So at any time never be at the mercy of anyone. Feelings change over time.Most important for a girl is parental support. Parents also should try to listen to their kids and understand their feelings and love. Falling in love is NOT a crime so both girls and parents should take the initiative to discuss freely their expectations and desires. I have noticed that most of those who elope actually are well behaved girls with almost spotless character. They come from homes where they are not allowed to voice their feelings and when faced with problems they sometimes make the mistake of eloping. Most of girls who come from homes where they are allowed to voice their opinions weigh the pros and cons of any relationship with their parents. Parents even meet the boyfriends and then advise the daughter if she is making the right choice or not. So in these families eloping is hardly seen and girl might even break off with a guy if her parents do not like her boyfriend. Being too strict or too liberal with children always has unpleasant consequences. Parents should take time to share feelings of their kids too.
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