[TorryJens]

2 Chronicles

"When Solomon had made an end of praying, the fire came down from heaven, and consumed the burnt offering and the sacrifices." 7:1

Solomon, when dedicating the temple, killed 22,000 oxen and 120,000 sheep. All the blood, guts, pain, and suffering must have made God very happy. 7:5

God sent Shishak, the king of Egypt, to attack Jerusalem because Rehoboam "and all Israel transgressed against the Lord." Shishak had 1200 chariots, 60,000 horsemen and "people without number" and he attacked Judah and "took the fenced cities which pertained to Judah." When Shishak's army came to Jerusalem, "the princes of Israel and the king humbled themselves" and said, "The Lord is righteous." So God decided not to destroy Jerusalem, but just make them Shishak's slaves instead. 12:2-12

God kills the king of Israel and helps Abijah kill 500,000 Israelites. "The children of Judah prevailed, because they relied upon the Lord God of their fathers." (That is, they had God on their side.) 13:15-20

In the largest single God-assisted massacre in the bible, Asa, with God's help, kills one million Ethiopians. 14:8-14

"Nation was destroyed of nation, and city of city: for God did vex them with all adversity." 15:6

"And they offered unto the LORD ... seven hundred oxen and seven thousand sheep." 15:9

Whoever that does not seek the God of Israel should be executed. 15:13

Executing non-believers brings peace. 15:15

"A certain man drew a bow ... and smote the king of Israel ... and about the time of the sun going down he died."
God killed Ahab for showing mercy to king Benhadad. (See 1 Kings 20:42) 18:33-34

The spirit of the Lord came upon Jahaziel (the son of Zechariah, the son of Benaiah, the son of Jeiel, the son of Mattanaiah) and told the people of Judah that they didn't have to fight against the Moabites, Ammonites, and Edomites. God would fight for them. And he did. God fought for them by forcing the members of the opposing army to kill each other. Then the people of Judah spent three days stripping the jewels and other valuables from the dead bodies. 20:14-25

Elijah tells Jehoram that God will smite his children, wives, and the people of Judah with a great plague (for things that Jehoram did) and God will smite him with a disease of his bowels until his bowels fall out. 21:14-15

The LORD stirred up against Jehoram the spirit of the Philistines, and of the Arabians ... And they came up into Judah, and ... and carried away ... his sons also, and his wives; so that there was never a son left him, save Jehoahaz, the youngest of his sons." 21:16-17

"And after all this the LORD smote him in his bowels with an incurable disease. And it came to pass, that in process of time, after the end of two years, his bowels fell out by reason of his sickness: so he died of sore diseases." 21:18-19

God appoved of Jehu's massacre of the families of Ahab and Ahaziah. 22:7-9

Only Levites can enter "the house of the Lord". "Whosoever else cometh into the house, he shall be put to death." 23:6-7

God told Jehu to kill everyone in the house of Ahab (and then later condemned him for it (Hosea 1:4)). 22:7-9

The priest (Jehoiada) tells the people to kill Athaliah and her followers. So they find her and kill her. "And all the people of the land rejoiced: and the city was quiet, after that they had slain Athaliah with the sword." (Don't you just love happy endings?) 23:14-15, 21

"Then all the people went to the house of Baal" and broke its altar into pieces and killed Mattan the priest of Baal. 23:17

The spirit of God came upon Zechariah and he condemned everyone for disobeying God, so the people stoned him to death. As he was dying, Zechariah asked God to avenge his death. So God sent the Syrians to kill all the princes and God delivered the army of Judah into their hand. In the process, Joash was wounded and then killed in his bed. 24:20-25

Amaziah (who "did that which was right in the sight of the Lord") killed 10,000 people; another 10,000 he left alive to throw off a cliff "that they all were broken in pieces." 25:1-2, 11-12

God was pleased with Amaziah when he was slaughtering Edomites and throwing people off cliffs, but not when he decided to worship other gods. So God decided to kill Amaziah and cause his army to be defeated by the Israelites. 25:16-27

"Uzziah ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD, according to all that his father Amaziah did."
LIke throwing 10,000 men off a cliff? (See 25:12) 26:3-4

"He went forth and warred against the Philistines ... And God helped him against the Philistines, and against the Arabians that dwelt in Gurbaal, and the Mehunims." 26:6-7

"Jothan ... did that which was right in the sight of the LORD ... He fought ...o with the king of the Ammonites." 27:1-5

God makes Uzziah a leper for burning incense without a license. 26:19-21

Pekah killed 120,000 people in one day and enslaves 200,000 women and children "because they had forsaken the Lord God of their fathers." 28:6, 8

Hezekiah's priests kill 70 bullocks, 100 rams, 200 lambs, 600 oxen, and 3000 sheep for God. The blood of the dead animals is then sprinkled on the altars. 29:22-35

The priests killed the passover and sprinkled the blood around to sanctify all the unclean people for the Lord. 30:15-17

"With us is the LORD our God to help us, and to fight our battles." 32:8

God sent an angel to kill the Assyrian army. (According to 2 Kg.19:35 the angel killed 185,000 sleeping soldiers who woke the next morning to discover that they were dead.) 32:21

God vows to "bring evil upon this place ... even all the curses that are written in the book." He says his "wrath shall be poured out upon this place, and shall not be quenched." 34:24-25

God gets angry with his people, so he sends the king of the Chaldees to kill all the "young men with the sword." He has compassion for no one, not even old men that are "stooped for age." In his tender mercy and loving kindness he has them all slaughtered. 36:16-17

Esther

With nothing more than suspicion and hearsay, Esther has two men hanged (after a brief inquisition). 2:21-23

Without a trial, Esther has another man (Haman) hung. 7:6-10

After hanging Haman at Esther's request, the king gave Esther (and her buddy Mordecai) Haman's ring and house. 8:1-7

At Esther's request, the king orders a preemptive strike on all 127 provinces from Egypt to Ethiopia. Everyone who planned to kill Jews shall be killed by Jews, along with their wives and children. And all this killing is to take place on a single day.
(How are the Jews to figure out who planned to kill them and who didn't? Were they supposed to just kill them all and let God sort it out? And why did they need to kill the women and children?) 8:9-11

On the day when all Jew-haters (and their families) were killed by Jews, "the Jews had light, and gladness, and joy, and honour ... a feast and a good day." 8:16-17

"Many of the people of the land became Jews; for the fear of the Jews fell upon them."
God's favorite way of making converts: Convert or be killed! 8:17

The Jews kill everyone who ever had a bad thought toward them, along with their Jew-hating families. 9:1-16

"The Jews smote all their enemies with the stroke of the sword, and slaughter, and destruction, and did what they would unto those that hated them." 9:5

"In Shushan the palace the Jews slew and destroyed five hundred men." 9:6

"The ten sons of Haman the son of Hammedatha, the enemy of the Jews, slew they." 9:10

Esther asks the king to kill all those who planned to kill the Jews and hang the already dead bodies of Haman's ten sons on trees. 9:12-14

"The Jews ... slew three hundred men at Shushan." 9:15

"The other Jews ... slew of their foes seventy and five thousand." 9:16

Job

To start off God and Satan's gruesome game, Job's slaves and animals are burned to death or killed with swords. Then Job's children are killed in a windstorm while partying. 1:13-19

God (or Satan -- it's hard to tell them apart) sends a wind that kills Job's sons and daughters. 1:18-19

God and Satan play a little game with Job. God allows Satan to torment Job, just to see how he will react. 2:3-7

"So went Satan forth from the presence of the LORD, and smote Job with sore boils from the sole of his foot unto his crown." 2:7

Because of God's cruel wager with Satan, Job curses the day he was born. 3:2-3, 11

"The arrows of the Almighty are within me ... the terrors of God do set themselves in array against me." 6:4

"Thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions" 7:14

God multiplies wounds without cause, destroys the perfect along with the wicked, laughs at the trial of the innocent, and hides the truth from judges. 9:17, 22-24

Speaking of God, Job says: "He teareth me in his wrath, who hateth me: he gnasheth upon me with his teeth." 16:9

"Wilt thou hunt the prey for the lion?"
God seems pleased to have created prey for lions and ravens to eat. 38:39-41

"The eagle ... seeketh the prey.... Her young ones suck up blood."
God is pleased with the way that predators kill and devour their prey. 39:27-30

Psalms

If you ask God, he'll force heathens to be your slaves and help you "dash them in pieces." 2:8-9

Kiss the Son or God will get angry and might have to kill you. 2:12

God has smitten his "enemies upon the cheek bone" and has "broken the teeth of the ungodly." 3:7

Christians often say that one should love the sinner but hate the sin. Perhaps, but God hates sinners and plans to destroy them. 5:5-6

God has prepared deadly weapons (swords, bows, etc.) and plans to use them. 7:11-13

If you pray to God, he will kill your enemies for you. 9:3-6

God will rain fire and brimstone on "wicked" folks. 11:6

The God of peace teaches us how to kill our neighbors in war. 18:34

God helps believers kill and enslave their enemies. 18:40-43

If you make God angry, he'll burn you and your children to death. 21:9-10

God will shoot his adversaries in the back with his arrows. 21:12

A sweet prayer for the destruction of one's enemies: Let their way be dark and slippery: and let the angel of the LORD persecute them.... Let destruction come upon him at unawares." 35:6,8

God laughs at those that he will later torment. 37:13

If you forget God, God will tear you into pieces. 50:22

If you don't trust in God, he'll kill you and while you're dying the "righteous" will laugh at you. 52:5-7

Referring to his enemies, the psalmist says: "Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell." 55:15

The psalmist devoutly prays: "Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth ... let them be cut in pieces." 58:6-7

"Let every one of them pass away: like the untimely birth of a woman, that they may not see the sun."
A prayer that your enemies will die like an aborted fetus. 58:8

"The righteous" will rejoice when he sees "the wicked" being dismembered by God. He'll even get a chance to wash his feet in their blood. Now that's entertainment! 58:10

The psalmist asks God to kill all "the heathen" and not show them any mercy. 59:5

God will laugh at the heathen as he kills them. 59:8

"The God of mercy" will let the psalmist see his enemies tormented. 59:10

"Consume them in thy wrath, consume them." -- more sweet prayers to a savage god. 59:13

Joab returned, and smote of Edom in the valley of salt twelve thousand. 60:1

God will "wound the head of his enemies" so that the righteous can wash their feet "in the blood of thine enemies, and the tongue of thy dogs in the same." 68:21, 23

The psalmist prays that his enemies be tormented and blinded by God. He asks God to "make their loins continually to shake." 69:23-28

"They that are far from thee shall perish: thou hast destroyed all them that go a whoring from thee." 73:27

"The LORD heard this" (he had his hearing aid on) and became angry, and burned people "because they believed not in God." 78:21-22

"The wrath of God came upon them" and God killed many of the Israelites for not believing in "his wondrous works." 78:31-34

The psalmist asks God to " do unto them as unto the Midianites ... which became as dung for the earth." 83:9-18

If you don't follow God's commandments, he will beat you with a rod. 89:31-32

"A fire goeth before him, and burneth up his enemies round about." 97:3

"I will ... destroy all the wicked of the land." 101:8

God gives the lions their meat. The cruelty and brutality of nature are all part of God's plan. 104:21

The psalmist recounts God's treatment of the Egyptians: "He smote the firstborn in their land." See Ex.12:29-30 for the gory details. 105:29-36

God is praised for the creative ways that he kills people: drowning, earth-swallowing, burning, etc. 106:11-19

God sent a plague on the Israelites for "committing whoredom with the daughters of Moab." But "then stood up Phinehas, and executed judgment [by throwing a spear through a newly married couple]: and so the plague was stayed." But not before 24,000 (1 Cor.10:8 says 23,000) had died. (See Num.25:6-9 for all the gory details.) 106:29-30

The psalmist asks God to do all sorts of unpleasant things to his enemies. "Set thou a wicked man over him; and let Satan stand at his right hand .... Let his prayer become sin." He asks God to take away his possessions, kill him, and have his children suffer for the sins of their fathers. 109:6-14

"Let his children be fatherless, and his wife a widow." 109:9

"Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg." 109:10

God will "fill the places with dead bodies" of heathens. 110:6

God is praised for slaughtering kings, nations, and little babies. 135:8, 10

"To him that smote Egypt in their first born: for his mercy endures forever." 136:10

God "overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red sea: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:15

God "smote great kings: for his mercy endureth for ever." 136:17-18

"Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones." 137:9

The psalmist excels at hating. He hates people with a "perfect hatred" and asks God to kill them. 139:19-22

A prayer that God will burn people to death. 140:10

The God of Peace teaches us to kill each other in war. 144:1

The saints praise God while they kill and enslave "the heathen." 149:5-8

Proverbs

God will laugh at your misfortunes, mock you when you are afraid, and ignore you when you ask him for help. And if you seek him, you will not find him. 1:26-28

"A rod is for the back of him that is void of understanding."
Beat the people who don't understand with a rod. 10:13

"Whoso despiseth the word shall be destroyed." 13:13

Beating your children with a rod is a sure sign of parental love. 13:24

God made bad people for the pleasure of punishing them. 16:4

"The wrath of a king is as messengers of death." 16:14

Fools are meant to be beaten. 18:6

Beat your children and don't stop just because they cry. 19:18

Scorners (skeptics?) should be condemned; fools should be beaten. 19:29

"A wise king scattereth the wicked, and bringeth the wheel over them." A wise king will crush those that he considers "wicked." 20:26

"The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly." 20:30

"The wicked shall be a ransom for the righteous." 21:18

Beating your children will make them less foolish. Have you beaten your child today? 22:15

Beat your children hard and often. Don't worry about hurting them. You may break a few bones and cause some brain damage, but it isn't going to kill them. And even if they do die, they'll be better off. They'll thank you in heaven for beating the hell out of them. 23:13-14

Whip horses and strike the backs of foolish people with rods. 26:3

Beating your children will make them wise. 29:15

Beat your servants (slaves), as though they were your children. 29:19

If you mock your father or disobey your mother, the ravens will pick out your eyeballs and the eagles will eat them. 30:17

"The wringing of the nose bringeth forth blood." 30:33