[Beerinkol]

Ezekiel

God's killing rules:
If Ezekiel doesn't warn the wicked that God's going to kill them for being wicked, God will kill the wicked people and Ezekiel, too.
If Ezekiel warns the wicked, then God will kill the wicked people (if they don't change their wicked ways), but not Ezekiel.
If a good person does something wrong after God "lays a stumbling block before him," then God will kill him. "He shall die in his sin" and whatever good he has done will be forgotten. And Ezekiel will be killed, too, if he didn't warn the good guy beforehand. 3:18-20

God will force fathers to eat their sons and the to eat their fathers. 5:10

God will slaughter everyone by killing one third with plagues, one third with famines, and one third with wars. If any somehow survive, he'll send "evil beasts" to devour them. Finally, after he's done killing, he "will be comforted." 5:11-17

God will decorate the land with the bones and dead bodies of those who worship a different god. 6:4-5

God makes his presence known by killing people with famine, disease, and war. 6:7-14

God tells Ezekiel to clap his hands and stamp his feet while saying, "they shall fall by the sword, by the famine, and by the pestilence." 6:11

God will pour out his fury on everyone, with pity toward none. By so doing he says that "ye shall know that I am the Lord that smiteth." 7:3-11

God's is mad at everyone and no one will escape his wrath. He'll kill them all with war, disease, and starvation. "Horror shall cover them" and "they shall know that I am the Lord." 7:14-27

God promises again to slaughter everyone. He says that he will ignore them when they plead with him for mercy. 8:18

God screams in Ezekiel's ears, telling him to round up the six angels ("men") that are going to do God's dirty work. 9:1-2

God sends a "man clothed with linen" to mark the foreheads of the men who will be saved. Apparently only men are considered good enough to keep, the others (unmarked men, "maids", little children, and women) are to be slaughtered. God says he'll "fill the courts with the slain" and will have pity on no one. 9:4-11

"Go ye after him through the city, and smite: let not your eye spare, neither have ye pity." 9:5

"Slay utterly old and young, both maids, and little children, and women." 9:6

"Fill the courts with the slain: go ye forth. And they went forth, and slew in the city." 9:7

"Mine eye shall not spare, neither will I have pity." 9:10

Ezekiel tells the 25 men that God is going to kill them. That way they'll know that God is the Lord. 11:8-12

"And it came to pass, when I prophesied, that Pelatiah ... died." 11:13

God will kill nearly everyone in one way or another (sword, famine, pestilence), but he’ll leave a few men standing “to declare their abominations among the heathen.” 12:15-16, 20

God has Ezekiel do another clever demonstration: eat and drink carefully while shaking. That way, when the people see him doing that, they will know that God is going to starve them to death, which will teach them that God is the Lord. 12:18-20

God again vows to destroy those that dare worship something or someone other than him. 14:6-8

God deceives some of his prophets and then kills them for believing his lies. 14:9

When really bad things happen (like you or your children get eaten by wild beasts, get killed in war, get sick and die, etc.), then you'll know that it was God that did it to you. And he won't spare children just because there are a few righteous people around. 14:13-21

God will burn the inhabitants of Jerusalem to show everyone that he is the Lord. 15:6-7

For being such a whore, God punished Jerusalem by starving the Israelites and handing them over to the Philistines. 16:17

After exposing her nakedness, God will give her "blood in fury and jealousy" and strip her naked once more. Then he'll have her stoned "with stones and thrust through with swords." 16:38-41

"The soul that sinneth, it shall die." 18:4

God will kill you for making a single mistake; all your good deeds he will ignore. 18:24-26

God will set a fire in the southern kingdom that will devour everything and burn everyone. "And all flesh shall see that I the LORD have kindled it." 20:47-48

God gave the Israelites "statutes that were not good and judgments whereby they should not live." He "polluted" them so that he "might make them desolate" and force them to kill and sacrifice their children "that they might know" that he is the Lord. 20:25-26

God will kill everyone -- good and bad, just and unjust. 21:3-5

God is sharpening a sword for the slaughter of his people. 21:8-32

"Thou shalt be for fuel to the fire; thy blood shall be in the midst of the land ... for I the LORD have spoken it." 21:32

God will gather all of Israel and consume them in the fires of his anger. 22:20-22

God couldn't find anyone to stand up to him, so he's going to destroy everyone. 22:30-31

Two sisters were guilty of "committing whoredoms" by pressing their breasts and bruising "the teats of their virginity." As a punishment, one sister's nakedness was discovered, her children were taken from her, and she was killed by the sword. And the fate of the surviving sister was even worse: Her nose and ears were cut off, she was made to "pluck off" her own breasts, and then after being raped and mutilated, she is stoned to death. 23:1-49

"These discovered her nakedness: they took her sons and her daughters, and slew her with the sword." 23:10

"They shall take away thy nose and thine ears; and thy remnant shall fall by the sword: they shall take thy sons and thy daughters; and thy residue shall be devoured by the fire." 23:25

"I will deliver thee into the hand of them whom thou hatest ... And they shall deal with thee hatefully." 23:28-29

"Thou shalt ... pluck off thine own breasts: for I have spoken it, saith the Lord GOD." 23:34

"The company shall stone them with stones, and dispatch them with their swords; they shall slay their sons and their daughters, and burn up their houses with fire." 23:47

God gets all excited about cooking with "scum" and human flesh, saying "kindle the fire, consume the flesh, and spice it well, and let the bones be burned." 24:3-14

God kills Ezekiel's wife and then tells him not to mourn her. 24:16-18

God killed Ezekiel's wife to demonstrate his intention to kill the Israelites' children. And just as God told Ezekiel not to mourn his wife's death, God forbids the parents to mourn the death of their children. 24:21-24

God will kill everyone that claps his hands or stamps his feet "against the land of Israel." When he's done with the killing everyone will know that he is the Lord. 25:6-7

"I will execute judgments upon Moab; and they shall know that I am the LORD." 25:11

God will send Israelites to slaughter the people of Edom. 25:13-14

God will "stretch out his hand" to the Philistines (to kill them all). 25:16-17

God says he will destroy Tyrus. He plans to kill everyone, but he is especially looking forward to killing all of the women. "And her daughters which are in the field shall be slain by the sword; and they shall know that I am the LORD." 26:1-21

Now God has singled out the king of Tyre for his tirades. 28:7-10, 18-19

Watch out or God will make you "die the deaths of the uncircumcised," which is, no doubt, a most unpleasant death. 28:10

God says that Zidon will know that he is the Lord when he sends "pestilence and blood into her streets." 28:22-23

God tells Ezekiel to prophesy against the pharaoh and against all Egypt. God says he will feed the Egyptians to the birds and beasts. 29:2-9

God will punish Egypt and her allies by sending Nebuchadrezzar to "fill the land with the slain." Then he will make "the rivers dry," sell the land to "the wicked," make "the land waste," light fires, and kill all their young men with the sword. 30:4-26

"And they shall know that I am the LORD, when I have set a fire in Egypt." (The Divine Pyromaniac) 30:8, 30:14, 30:16

"Thou shalt lie in the midst of the uncircumcised with them that be slain by the sword. This is Pharaoh and all his multitude, saith the Lord GOD." 31:18

God will treat Pharaoh like a whale fished out of the sea. Every bird and beast in the world will feed upon him. 32:3-6

God will vex the hearts of many people, destroy entire nations, brandish his sword, kill animals, and cause floods. In this way people will come to know him (just before he kills them?). 32:9-15

God takes a break from killing people while he kills all the animals in Egypt. 32:13

Pharaoh and all his multitude, along with the uncircumcised, will be killed with the sword. 32:20-32

When God is getting ready to kill people with the sword, it's the watchman's duty to warn them about it by blowing a trumpet. If the people hear the trumpet but don't "take warning," then God will kill the people but not the watchman. But if the watchman doesn't blow the trumpet when he sees God coming, then God will kill the people and the watchman. 33:2-6

God tells Ezekiel that he is the watchman. So the usual watchman rules apply to him. 33:7-9

If a "righteous" person does something wrong, God will forget every good thing that that person has ever done. Then God will kill him for the single mistake. 33:12-13

God plans some more killing by the sword, beasts, and the pestilence. 33:27-29

God tells Ezekiel about his plans for the Edomites (Seir). He's going to kill them all. That way they'll know for sure that he is the Lord. 35:2-15

"Thou shalt come up against my people of Israel ... in the latter days, and I will bring thee against my land, that the heathen may know me ... O Gog." 38:16

God will cause each man's sword to be against his brother; he will send disease and make it rain fire and brimstone. He says that by doing this he'll magnify and sanctify himself and let everyone know that he is the Lord. 38:21-23

God will have birds and beasts eat human flesh and drink human blood until they are full and drunken. 39:4, 17-20, 28

God sets a fire on Magog and feeds Gog and all of his people to the birds and beasts. He did all this to let them know that he is the Lord. 39:4-7

After the Israelites spend seven years burying Gog's soldiers, God (somehow) feed their bodies to the birds and beasts and gets t hem drunk on their blood. 39:17-28

"They have even defiled my holy name by their abominations that they have committed: wherefore I have consumed them in mine anger." 43:8

God's instructions for ritualistic animal sacrifices 43:18-25

Don't bring any strangers or people with uncircumcised hearts or flesh to God's sanctuary when your offering him fat and blood. 44:7-9

Stay away from idols or you'll bear your iniquity (i.e., God will kill you). But be sure to offer God lots of fat and blood and burnt offerings. 44:10-15

How to kill animals for God 45:15-25

More important instructions from God on how to kill and sacrifice animals to him. 46:2-7

How to prepare your daily meat, peace, and burnt offerings 46:11-15

How to boil your sin and trespass offerings and bake your meat offerings. 46:20

The holy court dimensions 46:22

Daniel

After Daniel gave Belshazzar the bad news, Belshazzar rewarded him by making him the "third ruler in the kindgdom." Later that night Belshazzar died. (Did God kill him?) 5:29-30

King Darius, after trying to feed Daniel to the lions, orders those who accused Daniel (and their wives and children) to be cast into the lion den. "And the lions ... brake all their bones in pieces." 6:24

Hosea

"I will no more have mercy upon the house of Israel." 1:6

God (or Hosea?) tells his children that their mother is a whore who is not his wife. He asks them to tell their mother to "put away her whoredoms" and "her adulteries from between her breasts" or he'll "strip her naked ... and slay her with thirst." 2:2-3

Because of the Israelites' disobedience, the land mourns, and all the animals are dying. 4:3

"Ephraim shall be desolate in the day of rebuke." 5:9

"The princes of Judah were like them that remove the bound: therefore I will pour out my wrath upon them like water." 5:10

God will tear up Ephraim like a lion so that "in their affliction they will seek me." 5:14

"I hewed them by the prophets; I have slain them by the words of my mouth." 6:5

"I will spread my net upon them; I will bring them down as the fowls of the heaven." 7:12

"Woe unto them! for they have fled from me: destruction unto them!" 7:13

"They return, but not to the most High ... their princes shall fall by the sword for the rage of their tongue." 7:16

"I will send a fire upon his cities." 8:14

God will induce miscarriages and kill the children of Ephraim. 9:11-12

"O Lord: what wilt thou give? give them a miscarrying womb and dry breasts." 9:14

"I will slay even the beloved fruit of their womb." 9:16

God will punish Israel by "dashing" together mothers and their children. 10:14

"The sword shall abide on his cities ... and devour them." 11:6

God will rip humans apart and then eat them like a lion.13:7-8

"I will be thy plagues ... I will be thy destruction: repentance shall be hid from mine eyes." 13:14

Because the Samaritans chose to worship another deity, God will dash their infants to pieces and their "women with child shall be ripped up." 13:16

Joel

"A fire devoureth before them ... nothing shall escape."
On "the day of the Lord", everything and everyone will be burned to death. 2:3

"The people shall be much pained: all faces shall gather blackness." 2:6

"Beat your plowshares into swords and your pruninghooks into spears." 3:10

"Egypt shall be a desolation, and Edom shall be a desolate wilderness." 3:19

Amos

The divine pyromaniac threatens to "send fire unto" Hazael, Gaza, Tyrus, Teman, Rabbah, Moab, and Judah. 1:4, 7, 10, 12, 14; 2:2, 5

"I will ... cut off the inhabitant from the plain of Aven ... and the people of Syria shall go into captivity." 1:5

"I will cut off the inhabitant from Ashdod, and him that holdeth the sceptre from Ashkelon, and I will turn mine hand against Ekron: and the remnant of the Philistines shall perish, saith the Lord GOD." 1:8

God will "slay all the princes" of Moab.2:3

God destroyed the Amorites who were a race of giants as tall as cedars and as strong as oaks. 2:9

God's creative ways of kiilling people and breaking things. 3:12-15

God afflicted the Israelites with "cleanness of teeth" (famine,) drought, blasting, and mildew. He killed them with pestilence, slaughtered them with the sword, and "made the stink of their camps come up into their noses." Destroyed them like they were from Sodom and Gomorrah. And yet they still didn't return to him. What is wrong with people? 4:6-11

"Therefore thus will I do unto thee .... Prepare to meet thy God, O Israel." 4:12

"For thus saith the Lord GOD; The city that went out by a thousand shall leave an hundred, and that which went forth by an hundred shall leave ten." 5:3

"Seek the LORD, and ye shall live; lest he break out like fire in the house of Joseph, and devour it." 5:6

When there is wailing and mourning, you'll know God's been there. 5:16-17

God says, "If there remain ten men in one house, that they shall die." 6:9

"The LORD commandeth, and he will smite the great house with breaches, and the little house with clefts."
(God will destroy people's houses.) 6:11

Next God sends a fire that consumes both land and sea. 7:4

God will kill the house of Jeroboam with the sword. 7:9-11

Amos tells Amaziah that his wife will become a whore, his children will be killed, and he'll die in a pagan country. 7:17

"The songs of the temple shall be howlings in that day, saith the Lord GOD: there shall be many dead bodies in every place." 8:3

God will kill so many people that dead bodies will lay everywhere. 8:3

"I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation; and I will bring up sackcloth upon all loins, and baldness upon every head; and I will make it as the mourning of an only son, and the end thereof as a bitter day." 8:10

"In that day shall the fair virgins and young men faint for thirst." 8:13

They shall fall, and never rise up again." 8:14

God will "cut them in the head" and "slay the last of them with the sword." Any that try to escape by diving to the bottom of the sea will be bitten, at God's command, by a sea-serpent. God will set his "eyes upon them for evil, not for good." 9:1-4

God will melt the land with his touch and then drown it in a flood. 9:5

God will destroy the "the sinful kingdom" and "all the sinners" among his people. 9:8-10

Obadiah

The Israelites hear "a rumor from the Lord" telling them to start a war with the Edomites. 1, 8

God tells Israelites to "destroy the wise men out of Edom" and to slaughter "everyone of the mount of Esau." 8-9

God will burn all the heathen to death, "for the LORD hath spoken it." 16-18

Micah

God will destroy Samaria with stones. 1:6

God accuses the Israelite leaders of plucking off skin, flesh from bones, eating human flesh, flaying off skin, breaking bones, chopping bodies in pieces, making human stew. To punish them he will ignore them when they call on him. 3:1-4

God will strengthen the Israelites so they can "beat in pieces many peoples" and give the booty to God. 4:13

"They shall waste the land of Assyria with the sword." 5:6

Like a young lion "the remnant of Jacob" will tear the Gentiles to pieces. 5:8

"Thine hand shall be lifted up upon thine adversaries, and all thine enemies shall be cut off." 5:9

"I will cut off thy horses." 5:10

God will "cut off" the witches and soothsayers. 5:11-12

God will destroy entire cities, and "execute vengeance in anger and fury upon the heathen such as they have not heard." 5:14-15

God will make his people sick, hungry, and desolate. Those who survive he will "give up to the sword." 6:13-16

The Gentiles will be made deaf, shall lick dust and be forced to crawl like worms from fear of God and his people. 7:16-17