[NeroASERCH]

(Keeping the golf theme going)

A golfer is cupping his hand to scoop water from a Highland stream on the St Andrews course.

A groundskeeper shouts, "Dinnae drink tha waater! Et's foo ae coo's shite an pish!"

The golfer replies, "My good fellow, I'm from England. Could you repeat that for me, in English?"

The keeper shouts, "I said, use two hands - you'll spill less that way."