[Koayrbzh]

A quick answer: the arising of an emotion brightens up the mind suddenly. At that moment, one has a choice of whether to go in, or go out. Going in would be to refresh the connection with essence – that creates space so that one doesn't just react. Because of that space, one can then respond as necessary. But one is not reacting from a negative emotion in this scenario. Depending on the situation, one would use one of the enlightened activities (even though one isn't enlightened!) of pacifying, magnetising, enriching and destroying, whilst being mindful that inner demons of like and dislike are lying in ambush...we are constantly being tested, and this is to be welcomed.

A longer answer: a couple of years ago, on a month-long silent retreat, I was having a real problem with yidam practice. Suddenly, I saw that there was a connection between the kayas and the so-called poisons. This brought me to an understanding of the unity of the two truths of reality and a seeming reality. This in turn brought me to a greater understanding of the symbolic teacher – that the whole of samsara is a teacher (and not an enemy). And that anything we need to learn is in our own reactions. I told my teacher this, and he gave me a huge hug.

I know this may sound like a cliché, but it is how it works. It's a gradual process, but suddenly you find that you're not reacting the way that you used to, and a sense of responsibility dawns – that others are more important than oneself.

All my questions have been answered: there are now only subtle ones about whether and how to engage with others, and for that, one needs to review one's intentions. Of course, there is still ego there, but it is more or less tamed (I know saying this makes me an easy target to attack, but I am no longer going to feel guilty about ego any more...Buddhists do tend to use that as an weapon against one another!)

With the discovery of non-meditation in meditation, this brings us to conduct in daily life. This is just a continuity of the view. When something comes up that distracts – such as somebody else's emotions – it is noted but not reacted upon. Emotions do still arise, but they are radiantly sharp and offer an opportunity to look into their nature. As one gets older, one is less involved in trivia. I do find a lot of the Buddhist teachings hold people down with dogma, when we are actually free spirits!

One important point I have learned is about inner wind in the subtle body. In the modern world, we have become very speedy people and this raises the inner wind from below the navel, into the upper body which causes tensions and a sense of anxiety. This merely entails using the gentle vase breath to bring the inner wind down again. I can explain more about this later.

One more important point...and this is very important! There are beings in this world who know all the teachings of the Buddha, but don't practise. They are called Mara. Much of the strife in the world is created by them, and this in turn puts additional pressure on people. If you want, it is exemplified by the corporate world feeding on the ego-clinging of people, and this is something that I have found it difficult to get the lamas to understand.

In fact, our minds are full of negativity, as everything is based on a mental image of “I”. Understanding this, one can be kinder to people and not see them as “wrong”...just mistaken. I told my teacher that I have empathy for negative people and compassion for positive people (they hide their wounds well): he agreed.

I suppose at some time in one's Dharma life, one has to take the teachings to heart and give up all the books and theories and rules and see how it really does feel. It is most important not to forget ordinary human warmth.

So the negative emotions are not bad, unless they are acted out.

All the best
Tony