[Unlinozistimi]

The experience of the pain of the kidney stone, which has been likened to the pains of labour in childbirth, is real - the pain will go when the stone is removed from the ureter just as the pains of labour will end when the baby is born.
The suffering is our response and attitude to the pain experience.

The intention of the Bodhisattva vow is that seeing someone in pain, as well as seeing someone suffer, we will do what we can to help ( and for no moment here am I suggesting that only someone who has taken this vow would do that, or will do it better than someone who has not !!! ).

Often our ability to help is limited and may not be wanted - unless you are a surgeon there is not much that you can do to help remove the stone, for example.

Telling someone in pain with a kidney stone that suffering is optional is not going to help in an acute situation.

Also, using your example, if you are easily distressed yourself by seeing others in pain and the person asks you to stay the best thing you could do is find an alternate support person for them.

It is all about our own actions and intentions.