Don't get me wrong, this is not necessairly a "happy" conclusion. I wanted to believe there was a lady in a white robe or a dude with horns and a beard. But it's just not true. I can't hold it, see it, touch it, hear it, but I can do all of those things with myself and other things in the world around me. Those things are real. All that went on for me was the conclusion itself after having mulled it over for years. It's all phony and done for mostly frightened people. Why are we so afraid of possibly knowing that when we die there is nothing else? Think about all of the things that act relieves us from. Think of the nothing to ever know or think again, that's salvation for the human mind and body. (and maybe spirit, that's a whole other topic about silly notions.) No greed, war, avarice, infedelity. It's all finally over. Hell, if nothing else, think of the pure economics of it: no more money spent on herbs and oils, odd spiritual jewlery, "light" festivals like we have here where a bunch of the unenlightened and uninformed go and pay $35 a half hour to someone who couldn't heal them or predict their future any better than someone they met on the street. It seems to me that it's pure silliness not to think that we aren't born with and carry what we need in the way of spirituality. It's not going to come from a book, a priest or minister, sitting there chanting "ohm." It comes from us and there is no third party involved. It's about us, and the fact that we don't know how all the events of our life finally measured up in the end is not important. It's the great last laugh: we won't be there to know about it anyway. "Here" is the all. The gratifications or good deeds that we can do or feel like doing today are all that matters. Ans what a bunch of vain people, to me, to think otherwise.