Hi Lucy, There have been two months since someone posted here but I only found your topic today. All the others have explained more than well the beliefs of our faith in this matter and I'm not sure I have to add anything new but your story "touched" a sensitive area inside me. Even though I am a Christian Orthodox almost since I was born, certain issues of my religion were clarified only recently. I too wasn't sure why sex before marriage is a sin but after is a bless. Listening to my spiritual father's speeches I came to understand that it is all about the relationship. We relate to each other and we relate to God. Certainly there is love in the couple before marriage (and your quest to better understand your partner proves it). As God's children we are all able to love and be loved, to create relationships of emotional depth with each other. We are "built" this way. What the ceremony of marriage does is to transform this natural relation into a supernatural one. This can only be done by Lord's blessing. When I say relationship I mean it both spiritually and physically. So I think it isn't really about sex being right or wrong. It is about being an instinctive action or a holy one. It is about wanting God's blessing for all the aspects of your life, for the relationship with another person and the sacred union with him. And if your relation is good as it is, imagine how perfect it will be when He takes it under His protection.. Panayota