[NKUDirectory]

Thanks for the reply, Lemongrass.

You're right, I do see this as a positive visit. I know she never meant me any harm in real life, she just had many inner demons to contend with. I wish we'd had a healthy, loving relationship, but we didn't.

Yes, I believe you're right. Being by the front door was her way of getting my attention right away.

your refusal to see the truth about something or the avoidance of intimacy In a way, yes. If our eyes had met, the hug would not have happened. Embarrassment, shame, and feelings of abandonment would have been too much, and would have put a stone wall between us.

I don’t understand why she could not hug back Our relationship is so tentative that if she had hugged me back I think I might have freaked out. Or maybe ASKING for a hug was the biggest gesture she dared to make? Being asked for that hug was the biggest display of affection I've ever had from her... in life or after.