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**softy54534** · 02-16-2011, 08:20 PM

I've gone through so much I actually wrote a book about it! lol

When life hands me crap... like even now with my mother, I usually find friends to vent to. Sure, I complain. I'm human!

But I spend about 2 hours at best whining. Then I sit outside and I talk to "them".

"Show me what lessons are in this. I'm so _____." I can then get small sentences in my mind. Patience: to have this shows that you are also compassionate. These lessons are for you to let go and know that you cannot control others emotions, sometimes you have to just let them go.

My mother can make me feel so frustrated, angry and powerless. Then I realize... no she can't make me feel anything. How I'm reacting is my fault.
How can I change this? Is this her goal to do this? In the past I may have said yes... but now, I know she can't help it, it's her illness. When she refuses to eat what I make her, complaining. I have learned to smile and then just offer her two different things. Allowing her to choose.

I have learned that she is also sad that she has no control of her own life anymore. She is powerless. Being that she also, like me, felt that we had to make sure everyone was happy, or everyone liked us or ... This is also her lesson as well as mine. Though her mind cannot appreciate it. So there it is.. your answer.

We learn the lessons, whether we REALIZE the lesson or not. My mom is proof. The more she must give up control, having to have someone help her (which she always refused before), she is learning her lessons and helping me to learn mine as well.

02-16-2011, 08:20 PM	#5
softy54534 Join Date Apr 2007 Posts 5,457 Senior Member	I've gone through so much I actually wrote a book about it! lol When life hands me crap... like even now with my mother, I usually find friends to vent to. Sure, I complain. I'm human! But I spend about 2 hours at best whining. Then I sit outside and I talk to "them". "Show me what lessons are in this. I'm so _____." I can then get small sentences in my mind. Patience: to have this shows that you are also compassionate. These lessons are for you to let go and know that you cannot control others emotions, sometimes you have to just let them go. My mother can make me feel so frustrated, angry and powerless. Then I realize... no she can't make me feel anything. How I'm reacting is my fault. How can I change this? Is this her goal to do this? In the past I may have said yes... but now, I know she can't help it, it's her illness. When she refuses to eat what I make her, complaining. I have learned to smile and then just offer her two different things. Allowing her to choose. I have learned that she is also sad that she has no control of her own life anymore. She is powerless. Being that she also, like me, felt that we had to make sure everyone was happy, or everyone liked us or ... This is also her lesson as well as mine. Though her mind cannot appreciate it. So there it is.. your answer. We learn the lessons, whether we REALIZE the lesson or not. My mom is proof. The more she must give up control, having to have someone help her (which she always refused before), she is learning her lessons and helping me to learn mine as well.
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