[mazabotman]

You've gotten good advice. I think the reason you're feeling this is you inwardly know that you're on a path toward becoming someone other than the person you have always thought you were. We all change, but I feel like you recognize this as wrong for you. You might not be consciously aware of it, which is why you've got to step aside from your current life and the people in it, so you can carefully examine the directions you've traveled. Good luck on your journey.