[diundasmink]

Hi Patheya.
If you haven't, I do think you should discuss with your partner, get to the reason why your partner did that.

Hi Dann, thanks for writing.

I've been wanting to write this for some time - and in this forum, it seems to be the place.

I've been dealing with the 'ugly monster' for a couple of years - but its only recently that I admited that its my doing, and I realised how much discipline I need to conquor it.

The fact is, my partner is very generous. He's a true communist in spirit and I love him for it. In theory, its great!! Just, sometimes, the effects of his generous and kindness make me feel insiignificant. (He is nice to everyone, he is kind to everyone, he is open minded to everyone - sometimes my ego demands that I am treated special - he says, what more can he do - he lives with me and shares his life with me - and I see that I am demanding.)

However, this is, and I recognise it, my perception. He is how he is - and I know it - he knows it - and I appreciate him - as he is - I just need to let go of my insecurities. Even if we help a strange girl - it could have been a strange man - and he is indiscriminate with everyone and all Just girls seem to get to us first

I'm actually feeling better every day - I'm getting over a bit of a depression and this last week seems to be just full of wonderful surprises - doors opening - AND - it all started when I understood the word ' discipline' - as applied to me...

discipline with my training, with my thoughts, with my wants, with my life - its great - and I feel this steel within my soul that wasn't there before.

Thanks Dann. I appreciate your reply