[Grenader]

hmmm.....i guess no one knows what to say or they think im crazy....*sobs* maybe its cause i dont have a question. ok. explain the above phenomena cause i dont know what it would be classified as. i also have another experience. when i put pressure on my eyes, i see a vortex of checkerboards and explosions and with focus, i see a ring of yellow light. with more focus, the light grows brighter and becomes white. tonight, i was doing that, and it got so bright, it lost the yellow and it was pure white and radiant. i didnt feel anything, i just saw it with my eyes closed. anyway. sometimes i see images in it, sometimes its just a ring. ive been trying to contact my guides and i havent had any success although the person who channels them says they are ready to speak to me directly and that i need to learn how to raise my vibration and contact them. its so hard because i have nasal problems and i cant focus with all these stray thoughts and i feel so uncomfortable, and anxious, and its boring, and i get distracted, and then i cant focus, and i feel frustrated because its so futile, and then nothing happens, and my nose is acting up and it makes me so mad DX and i cant do it. he says i can do it on my own and it will make me stronger if i learn how on my own. its so frustrating. i trust him and everything, but i guess i dont believe in myself or something. and its so hard and i cant do it. i cant meditate and it pisses me off so much DX anyway. *rant over* if anyone has anything to say, any tips, questions, or comments, please post them.