[famosetroie]

First, I wanted to say to Faerie-glamour, what an amazing experience you had! Yours is the type of story that helps give people back their faith when they are struggling with pain and doubt.

And Lovelight, do you think the guy in your dream was a guardian angel of some sort? Whoever he was, he certainly did help you! Loved your story.

As for me, I've had several things happen in my life that I consider life-changing. When I was 21 I gave birth to my son, and it was during a time of enormous emotional upheaval. My husband had been having an affair, and we had separated three months prior to my son's birth. At the time I wasn't even sure I wanted to have children, and was dreading labor and delivery as I wasn't sure how I would react...I honestly didn't think I'd have any feelings for the baby at all. He turned out to be two weeks late, and what triggered the onset of labor was my cat, Snooch (a very close animal soulmate of mine). I'd been out walking him the day before, and for some unknown reason the hook on his leash suddenly broke. At that very moment a large tractor-trailer loomed down upon us - and on that street we never had large trucks pass, so this was yet another oddity - well, with the truck speeding toward us, the sound scared my cat and he darted out in front of it. I swear, my heart must have stopped at that moment...but Snooch escaped death literally by no more than an inch or two, his body flashing past the front wheel within a hair's breadth...and the driver never saw him. Snooch fled for home and I went back to catch him. Within an hour labor started, and by the next morning my son was born. But here is the most wonderful part...when Stephen was born - via C-section - they whisked him away from me before I could see him. He was crying, but he sounded more like a cat than a human baby...it later turned out they thought he might have a potentially serious condition, but he was fine. In any event, I only got to see him momentarily before they ran him off to ICU; he was lying in an incubator beside me, and the moment I saw his face this overwhelming (and I mean, overwhelming!) sense of *I know you* came over me. The immediate thought that crossed my mind was, 'It's been so long...you've finally come back'...and the depth of love and familiarity I felt for him was just indescribable. He and I have been the best of friends ever since; he is one of my closest soulmates in this life. He was the first one to teach me about unconditional love.

Another lifechanging event happened when I met a man in an online forum. This one could be a long story, but I will condense it to say that the feeling of familiarity with him was so immense...probably a hundred times stronger than that of the one with my son. We were online (casual) friends for about 9 months, and then we were suddenly separated from one another. And that separation triggered so many things in me...an (literally) overnight spiritual awakening; I began seeing numbers repeatedly...11, 33, 57 (my year of birth); spiritual dreams, astral travel, dreams (of him) that came true; on and on. In one dream I saw the two of us, side by side but separate, and above our heads was a huge pink neon sign that said in block letters, "COMMUNICATION". For the life of me I couldn't figure that one out; but that was one of many, many dreams I had. This man taught me about the need to let go, sometimes an urgent necessity when we want to continue on with our destinies.

And 3 days after our separation from one another I became ill. That illness progressed rapidly but doctors had no idea what was wrong. I knew it was somehow linked to the man I knew; or rather, to the separation from him...and I wound up finally (almost a year later) being diagnosed with cancer - a very unusual form, as all the doctors expressed extreme surprise that I had it. It was an oral/throat cancer almost exclusively seen in people who have a history of heaving smoking and/or drinking, of which I did neither. This actually segues into the other lifechanging event...from meeting this man to developing a life-threatening illness. I had to undergo seven weeks of radiation and three rounds of chemo, 4 days to each round. Oddities abounded throughout the entire treatment time, and even before. I had this extremely intense feeling that I wasn't supposed to go through the chemo; every fiber in my body was telling me not to, it felt as though 'someone' was telling me not to; yet I didn't understand it. And of course, for my son's sake I couldn't exactly refuse treatments based upon a 'sense'. But as it turned out, from the very beginning whatever could go wrong in getting treatments, did..and this included the radiation as well as the chemo. The hospital forgot to inform me that they'd booked me in for the first treatments. Then when I did find out and did go, they said I wasn't supposed to be having chemo. Then the line they were putting in my arm (called a PIC line) to administer the drugs would not go in. Radiation treatments kept getting delayed or rescheduled. The radiation machines kept breaking down. It was a nightmare. In the end I did go through the entire 7 weeks of radiation, but the chemo was stopped after the first round as it was doing too much damage to my mouth and throat. And after all of this I was sitting with my son one day and he confided in me that during my initial visit to meet the chemo doctor - my son had gone with me for that visit - as I was sitting there talking to the doctor my son heard a voice speaking to him in his head...he told me it said, 'She's not supposed to have them'. And when he questioned what I wasn't supposed to have, he heard, 'the treatments'.

Anyway, another wonderful thing that happened to me during the treatments was midway through radiation sessions. At that point they were designing another mask for me (with head/neck cancers they make a facemask that molds to your face; it's designed so they can bolt it to the table, thus ensuring you cannot move during treatment); they design one halfway through when they change the area being radiated and dosage. I was lying alone on the radiation table while the doctor was in another room consulting with staff on the next course of treatment, and they'd left a light on...a tiny beam of red light that is directed to a focal point on the face. While I was waiting, this sudden sense that I wasn't alone in the room came over me, and then the beam of red light changed...it became intense, a brilliant white light that shone down directly into my eyes. And for the first time in my life I had the sense that I was in the presence of Jesus. I'm not a religious person, but what an enormous feeling of love swept through me! I walked out of that session feeling totally different. Then on the way home a there was a woman wearing a t-shirt that said, 'Jesus is with you always', and someone else walking along with a 'Jesus' message similar to the first woman's...and then not moments later I saw a sign on the bumper of a car...but not a bumper sticker; this was one of those metal signs that usually gives the name of the style of car, like 'Intrepid' or something. But this one? It said, 'Jesus'. I was stunned.

There are so many other things I could write...like the man at the hospital who appeared in my room one day, and began speaking to me of astral travel, of having faith, and who kept asking me, 'Why do you think you got this illness?' (He asked me that 3 times and I couldn't answer him...and from the moment he walked in the room I felt that he was an angel or guide of some sort, even before he spoke to me.) His was a mysterious story as well. And what did the illness teach me? I now believe it was there to teach me about having absolute faith, and to let go of fear. I'm still working on parts of that - esp. the absolute faith, but it is an experience I treasure, and feel blessed to have had.

My mother's death was also lifechanging, though not overnight. Her death affected me in increments, and I now know that sometimes the events in our lives which are meant to guide or teach us don't always do so suddenly. My mom's death taught me a lot about love, and about understanding one's dealings with jealousies (I was 10 when she passed away, and erroneously thought that she loved my sister more than me). When she was here she also taught me about having a love of animals, or being empathetic, and of being gentle of heart. It took me about 30 years to finally understand some of my mother's teachings, and I embrace them dearly.