[NiliSpuppypax]

Thank you to the people who took time to offer advice, i suppose it was what i already knew but having read posts on other threads about how well things had turned out for some people ( I am a 29 yr old fat nerd ) i had hope that those posts offered some hope, but when i mentioned to one of my Thai friends that i had posted on here all sorts of confusion started ending with the cousin of the girl that i was in love with phoning me and hammering home the points that she had always told me about what her cousin was like, but it also lead me to realise that these other people who i had called my friends had been using me for their own ends. i cant explain how i feel now- empty is probably as good a word as any but even that doesn't begin.... i haven't slept much over the last few months and dont know when i will again now I know i have come across as somebody who deserves all this with my own stupidity, but i was only looking for somebody that i could love and care for and to be given back a little of the same. I dont know how people can be so cruel.