[secondmortgagek]

Hm I think a lot of your experience was not particular to Thailand alone, but to a foreigner in a new country in general.

I know they drive like maniacs in other Asian countries too and it's kinda fun sometimes, like an amusement park ride

Foreigners of all colors can relate to the staring. Heh they're just used to everyone looking alike. But I can relate to you feeling even more stared at and talked about because of your color. I am Mexican and live back and forth between the US and Asia. Those few who did take "extra notice" of my skin color, usually as soon as they heard my English and my accent they saw me as American and stopped classifying me by skin color. I often wonder how they would react if I was not American, but from a third world country. Would they still look wearily at me? So as you may have noticed you being black, but also English made a difference.

Yet I am not extremely dark-skinned so it may take some people a bit longer to get over your skin color All in all though I believe it is our personal paranoia that gets in our way. I often have to remind MYSELF to stop caring so much about my skin color

I can relate to the loneliness and isolation too. In many cities I go to I do not have any friends or speak the language very well. I find that forcing myself out into the town and not sulking in my room helps me, cause hey at least I am out seeing something new. Though every now and then I do retreat into my room. It just gets so bad sometimes

I think perhaps you did not research Thailand enough before you moved there? I find that reading a bunch of books on multiple aspects of the country, visiting forums, doing internet searches, and finding people in your home city that have lived where you are going helps very much. So at least you have read about many of the country's quirks - like the maniac driving - and do not find yourself so horribly shocked

I hope you do go back and give it another shot!