DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - How to wai and generally handle a situation like this?

**pharmablogger** · 01-09-2011, 04:30 PM

Since I first visited the wife's village (getting on for 20 years ago), she made sure that I waied her older family members, village elders etc. Nowadays I don't need telling but the first couple of days we're there I just wai pretty much every older person who stops by, as there are so many relatives and friends that I can't always remember who's who. There are also people that she doesn't wai but if I follow her lead, she'll give me a dig or a nod to let me know I should. I think I wai a lot more people than she does. There are also those who are not relatives or respected family friends but who I have got to know over the years. In village society it leaves a good impression and, so I'm informed, you are considered more respectful than farangs who never wai their in-laws, village elders etc.

As I'm starting to get on a bit now, there are also younger people who now wai me, usually those that know me and the family quite well. Some of my younger brothers and sisters-in-law wai me, some don't - all of their spouses do.

Back in Bangkok and at work, I very rarely wai. Working in an environment where people are used to farangs, it seems very unnatural to wai - and actually makes me feel a bit uncomfortable if colleagues do so, as I'm not really expecting it and get caught in two minds about whether to return it. A few of my younger colleagues call me 'P', which I think is a fine way to show respect.
Students wai but most Thai teachers just return that with a nod so that's what I do. If parents come to see me they'll often wai and in that case I'll return it.

Although some people have mentioned shaking hands being quite common, I find the only Thais who feel really comfortable with this are those who have spent time abroad or worked closely with farangs.

I never encouraged my daughter to wai me but sometimes when she was much younger the teachers at school would get her to do it when I dropped her off or picked her up. My wife has always got her to wai when giving her money to take to school and I fully support this - I wouldn't let her get away without saying 'thank you'.

Basically I find it very natural to give and receive wais in my social and family life but it's much more uncomfortable and unnatural in my working life. It's a complicated old world, isn't it?

01-09-2011, 04:30 PM	#13
pharmablogger Join Date Nov 2005 Posts 453 Senior Member	Since I first visited the wife's village (getting on for 20 years ago), she made sure that I waied her older family members, village elders etc. Nowadays I don't need telling but the first couple of days we're there I just wai pretty much every older person who stops by, as there are so many relatives and friends that I can't always remember who's who. There are also people that she doesn't wai but if I follow her lead, she'll give me a dig or a nod to let me know I should. I think I wai a lot more people than she does. There are also those who are not relatives or respected family friends but who I have got to know over the years. In village society it leaves a good impression and, so I'm informed, you are considered more respectful than farangs who never wai their in-laws, village elders etc. As I'm starting to get on a bit now, there are also younger people who now wai me, usually those that know me and the family quite well. Some of my younger brothers and sisters-in-law wai me, some don't - all of their spouses do. Back in Bangkok and at work, I very rarely wai. Working in an environment where people are used to farangs, it seems very unnatural to wai - and actually makes me feel a bit uncomfortable if colleagues do so, as I'm not really expecting it and get caught in two minds about whether to return it. A few of my younger colleagues call me 'P', which I think is a fine way to show respect. Students wai but most Thai teachers just return that with a nod so that's what I do. If parents come to see me they'll often wai and in that case I'll return it. Although some people have mentioned shaking hands being quite common, I find the only Thais who feel really comfortable with this are those who have spent time abroad or worked closely with farangs. I never encouraged my daughter to wai me but sometimes when she was much younger the teachers at school would get her to do it when I dropped her off or picked her up. My wife has always got her to wai when giving her money to take to school and I fully support this - I wouldn't let her get away without saying 'thank you'. Basically I find it very natural to give and receive wais in my social and family life but it's much more uncomfortable and unnatural in my working life. It's a complicated old world, isn't it?
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