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**Yswxomvy** · 09-22-2012, 12:50 AM

It depends on the person and the amount of respect they give you sometimes that can determine whether or not they look you in the eye. Some shop vendors I clearly remember looking me directly in the eye and smiling trying to win my business.

I also have a group of business associates/friends who respect me so much that they always let me have the last word. Not trying to toot my own horn by mentioning this but they look down upon themselves a bit when I'm around and I think they're just intimidated a bit because they also speak without looking at me. They make suggestions and comments in short sentences looking away, I can clearly remember each one of them doing this as if they were almost afraid to speak. I have to remind them to look at me in the eyes so that I can trust them. They seem a bit self-deprecating and I think a lot of this stems from the disparity financial status and education. I honestly don't like feeling this way so I always remind them that we're all human but it doesn't seem to work. It's the same way some maids look down when they are working. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm just sharing.

I understand what you mean. I was involved in a project where our team taught trainers/trainors from different Asian countries how to deal with adult learners (principles of andragogy). One of the most important concepts was to treat trainees as equals when in a learning situation, as opposed to teaching children where there's a big gap between the teacher and the student. There are many ways to achieve this, but what what is relevant to our discussion now is about establishing eye contact and addressing the trainers (or teachers) with their first names.

The countries represented included Thailand, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Nepal, Philippines, HongKong, Indonesia, etc.

About using eye contact, we noted that some Thais were comfortable about it, and some were not. We had a feedback sheet filled out by observers. It's the shy Thais who tended to look down. They also spoke in low tones and hardly smiled. On the other hand, the Thais who were rated highly on eye contact tended to smile more and looked enthusiastic. And so we suspected this was connected to self-confidence or personal habits. I must point out though that we did not make a professional study about this subject as this was not the focus of our project.

It is interesting, too, to point out that some male members from Nepal, Malaysia, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka (maybe I forget the other countries) WOULD NOT look at the the eyes or the body of the female members as in their culture that's considered rude! So the eye contact issue then might not be related to self-confidence.

On being on first-name basis with the trainers/teachers, many couldn't do it. They preferred to use a prefix of "Miss" or "Mister" before the first names of the team members.

Needless to say, our team had to make adjustments in our approaches to adapt to the cultural conditions of the different countries.

But as far as Thais are concerned, I note that they (waiters, hotel cleaners, sidewalk vendors, drivers, sales persons, etc) are comfortable establishing eye contact with ordinary visitors or tourists like me.

09-22-2012, 12:50 AM	#13
Yswxomvy Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 523 Senior Member	It depends on the person and the amount of respect they give you sometimes that can determine whether or not they look you in the eye. Some shop vendors I clearly remember looking me directly in the eye and smiling trying to win my business. I also have a group of business associates/friends who respect me so much that they always let me have the last word. Not trying to toot my own horn by mentioning this but they look down upon themselves a bit when I'm around and I think they're just intimidated a bit because they also speak without looking at me. They make suggestions and comments in short sentences looking away, I can clearly remember each one of them doing this as if they were almost afraid to speak. I have to remind them to look at me in the eyes so that I can trust them. They seem a bit self-deprecating and I think a lot of this stems from the disparity financial status and education. I honestly don't like feeling this way so I always remind them that we're all human but it doesn't seem to work. It's the same way some maids look down when they are working. Please don't misunderstand me, I'm just sharing. I understand what you mean. I was involved in a project where our team taught trainers/trainors from different Asian countries how to deal with adult learners (principles of andragogy). One of the most important concepts was to treat trainees as equals when in a learning situation, as opposed to teaching children where there's a big gap between the teacher and the student. There are many ways to achieve this, but what what is relevant to our discussion now is about establishing eye contact and addressing the trainers (or teachers) with their first names. The countries represented included Thailand, Bangladesh, Sri Lanka, Malaysia, Nepal, Philippines, HongKong, Indonesia, etc. About using eye contact, we noted that some Thais were comfortable about it, and some were not. We had a feedback sheet filled out by observers. It's the shy Thais who tended to look down. They also spoke in low tones and hardly smiled. On the other hand, the Thais who were rated highly on eye contact tended to smile more and looked enthusiastic. And so we suspected this was connected to self-confidence or personal habits. I must point out though that we did not make a professional study about this subject as this was not the focus of our project. It is interesting, too, to point out that some male members from Nepal, Malaysia, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka (maybe I forget the other countries) WOULD NOT look at the the eyes or the body of the female members as in their culture that's considered rude! So the eye contact issue then might not be related to self-confidence. On being on first-name basis with the trainers/teachers, many couldn't do it. They preferred to use a prefix of "Miss" or "Mister" before the first names of the team members. Needless to say, our team had to make adjustments in our approaches to adapt to the cultural conditions of the different countries. But as far as Thais are concerned, I note that they (waiters, hotel cleaners, sidewalk vendors, drivers, sales persons, etc) are comfortable establishing eye contact with ordinary visitors or tourists like me.
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