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**textarchive** · 09-21-2012, 06:32 PM

Quote[/b] ]whatever the cause of your bond with another person - stress or motivation or something in-between, or nothing - attraction is just a propoganda.

Trangam, I can't believe this is coming from you, lol. It sounds extremely cynical, which is not your usual style. If this indeed comes from personal experience, I can't help but feel sorry for you. It must have been a very negative experience then.

I think of the stability of love and marriage the same way as building a pyramid. Both have to start with a solid, wide base to give them stability. As the years go by, the trials of life will chip small and larger pieces away. How long they will last depends on the manner they were initially constructed. IMO it is unreasonable to start with a small base and expect it to become more stable later - it'd be like trying to build a pyramid upside down.

In more concrete terms; compare a relationship that started in a Patpong go-go bar, she being covered in whipped cream with a dozen hands all over her, while he was ogling half a dozen other girls - and another relationship that started in a banquette of an international conference in Amsterdam. Can you honestly say these initial circumstances don't matter, and they both have an equal chance of success? I just don't see how that'd be.

The only thing I could say is that no matter how good the initial factors were, they won't guarantee success for life - the couple still has to work on it every time. Like you said

Quote[/b] ]we have to be honest, respectful and ready to put our energies for the other.

So true! But the starting point is equally important, IMO.

09-21-2012, 06:32 PM	#24
textarchive Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 433 Senior Member	Quote[/b] ]whatever the cause of your bond with another person - stress or motivation or something in-between, or nothing - attraction is just a propoganda. Trangam, I can't believe this is coming from you, lol. It sounds extremely cynical, which is not your usual style. If this indeed comes from personal experience, I can't help but feel sorry for you. It must have been a very negative experience then. I think of the stability of love and marriage the same way as building a pyramid. Both have to start with a solid, wide base to give them stability. As the years go by, the trials of life will chip small and larger pieces away. How long they will last depends on the manner they were initially constructed. IMO it is unreasonable to start with a small base and expect it to become more stable later - it'd be like trying to build a pyramid upside down. In more concrete terms; compare a relationship that started in a Patpong go-go bar, she being covered in whipped cream with a dozen hands all over her, while he was ogling half a dozen other girls - and another relationship that started in a banquette of an international conference in Amsterdam. Can you honestly say these initial circumstances don't matter, and they both have an equal chance of success? I just don't see how that'd be. The only thing I could say is that no matter how good the initial factors were, they won't guarantee success for life - the couple still has to work on it every time. Like you said Quote[/b] ]we have to be honest, respectful and ready to put our energies for the other. So true! But the starting point is equally important, IMO.
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