DiscussWorldIssues - Socio-Economic Religion and Political Uncensored Debate - View Single Post - How to Help a Thai Friend Reconcile American Culture w/ Thai Culture

**WeightWatchyshow** · 09-22-2012, 01:24 AM

Hey, I think this thread got wildly off the point and very quickly. Phoenix’s first post raised all sorts of red flags without even the inherent conflict of cultural differences.

Someone in the 8th grade is typically around 12 & 13 years old and this can be a very hard time in a young person’s life without any additional pressures. Moving half way around the world to America where social norms are based on a Protasent, Judo- Christen ethic, an almost unquenchable material clinging and an exceedingly difficult language to learn would be overwhelming in its self, even with a good supportive family life.

It’s well documented in America that second marriages with children are very difficult on all parties involved, particularly the children. This girls Mother, if I’m reading correctly, had 4 children with her new American husband. Wonder where her loyalties could begin to lie?

Sometimes “causing problems” at that age can be symptomatic of underlying difficulties. Perhaps at that time a good marriage, family counselor could have helped. Sending “The Problem” away is not addressing an issue it’s just avoiding it. Some people are not good parents no matter what their cultural back ground is.

So there are all sorts of stuff this young woman may be dealing with and cultural differences are only part of the mix, not I think the cause. One of the hardest things to do when one is depressed is to do anything. Any effort seems Herculean. Unfortunately your options are limited as to what you can do because the responsibility is ultimately up to her. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”, as it were. As a friend you can listen with love and compassion and that is really about it.

The journey is hard and takes a lot of effort at times. I can only recommend two things. One would to be find a counselor / therapist she feels comfortable with and the other would be to find a Wat and consult with a Monk. At the least she has a caring friend and that’s a good start. Good luck to you both.

May all beings have peace, may they be happy.

09-22-2012, 01:24 AM	#14
WeightWatchyshow Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 428 Senior Member	Hey, I think this thread got wildly off the point and very quickly. Phoenix’s first post raised all sorts of red flags without even the inherent conflict of cultural differences. Someone in the 8th grade is typically around 12 & 13 years old and this can be a very hard time in a young person’s life without any additional pressures. Moving half way around the world to America where social norms are based on a Protasent, Judo- Christen ethic, an almost unquenchable material clinging and an exceedingly difficult language to learn would be overwhelming in its self, even with a good supportive family life. It’s well documented in America that second marriages with children are very difficult on all parties involved, particularly the children. This girls Mother, if I’m reading correctly, had 4 children with her new American husband. Wonder where her loyalties could begin to lie? Sometimes “causing problems” at that age can be symptomatic of underlying difficulties. Perhaps at that time a good marriage, family counselor could have helped. Sending “The Problem” away is not addressing an issue it’s just avoiding it. Some people are not good parents no matter what their cultural back ground is. So there are all sorts of stuff this young woman may be dealing with and cultural differences are only part of the mix, not I think the cause. One of the hardest things to do when one is depressed is to do anything. Any effort seems Herculean. Unfortunately your options are limited as to what you can do because the responsibility is ultimately up to her. “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”, as it were. As a friend you can listen with love and compassion and that is really about it. The journey is hard and takes a lot of effort at times. I can only recommend two things. One would to be find a counselor / therapist she feels comfortable with and the other would be to find a Wat and consult with a Monk. At the least she has a caring friend and that’s a good start. Good luck to you both. May all beings have peace, may they be happy.
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