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Think twice before you gripe about Thailand
KRIENGSAK NIRATPATTANASAI
Bangkok Post, Monday March 20, 2006

'Khun Kriengsak, thank you for your time. I've learned more about business in Thailand from this two-hour session than I had learned by myself in the past six months," says Bill, a new client, after we finish our first executive coaching session.

"You're most welcome," I smile.

Bill mentioned Bridging the Gap and asked: "You've written the Bridging the Gap column for five years but your book has only 15 stories. What about the rest?"

"There are almost 300 stories. I selected about 80 columns that I think had good response based on e-mail from readers. You can see more on my website. Here is one that I wrote in the first year.

"It was prompted by an e-mail from a Thai reader, citing several occasions on which foreigners complained about Thais, the Thai government, the country and infrastructure in front of Thais."

Since most Thais are generally forgiving people, she said, we do not argue or debate with the foreigners. Some of us are not assertive enough to debate or might not like confrontation.

The reader's concern was that by keeping our mouths shut, Thais might be giving foreigners the impression that we agree with their statements or that it's acceptable to complain. In short, she was not happy with that approach.

She thought I could be a channel to advise foreigners on acceptable ways to raise valid complaints or criticisms. I had not given the subject much thought before _ if anything, I had been a complainer too.

Surprisingly, on most of those occasions, foreigners were the ones who suggested that I look at another perspective and be more open. It's likely that if another Thai had been present, he or she would not be happy on hearing me complain about my countrymen's shortcomings. Given the current resurgence of nationalistic feeling, I should indeed be more careful.

I had lunch with a friend who mentioned a similar scenario. The occasion was a meeting she attended with her Malaysian boss who was discussing matters with a Malaysian client.

Turning away from business, the Malaysians began to nin-ta (gossip) about Thai people. They complained about commitment, attitude and other negative qualities they perceived in Thai staff. They seemed to have ignored the fact that they were in the company of a Thai, though my friend's Chinese looks might have led them to believe she was Malaysian or a Singaporean. She was not comfortable, and felt the two foreigners were insulting her.

In a nutshell, don't complain about Thais just because you are living in Thailand. Look at both sides of a coin. I have heard a lot of positive feedback about Thais from foreigners. I am sure you also have heard some too. Whenever your colleague starts to complain, offer some positive stories to balance the scales. Consider these examples:

A Singaporean consultant in Thailand for a short project had to travel from his hotel to the company by taxi every morning. On the third day, he had only a 1,000-baht note and the taxi driver did not have enough small change for him.

While he was struggling with the situation, a food vendor walked up and recognised him even though it was only his third day at the office. She offered to lend him 100 baht. The vendor spoke no English and the Singaporean no Thai, but they managed the situation smoothly.

The Singaporean went to the office, borrowed some small notes from a friend and went to repay the woman. He also bought some food and from that day on became a loyal customer of the vendor. He told me that if a similar situation had happened in Singapore, he didn't think he could rely on the kindness of a vendor.

An American woman, who had been working in Thailand for a few months, went to Kanchanaburi one weekend. An avid cyclist, she rode nearly 50 km from her resort to the town. She hadn't expected to ride so far and was exhausted, so she decided to return to the resort by bus. She sought out the tourist police near the River Kwai Bridge and found them very friendly. They spoke English very well, and carried her bike in a police truck to the bus station.

They bought the bus ticket for her (she paid, of course) and made sure she went to the correct bus. They asked the name of the resort where she was staying. A few hours later, the police called to confirm that she had returned safely.

Little things, perhaps, but they can add up to a lot and leave a powerful, positive impression.

Kriengsak Niratpattanasai is the founder of TheCoach, specialising in executive coaching in leadership and cross-cultural skills. Copies of previous columns are available at www.thaicoach.com. He can be reached at 02-517-3126 or coachkriengsak@yahoo.com