[shieclulaweew]

Quote[/b] ]If this is so I feel very disappointed. Perhaps I am just naive, but I thought ethics played a part?

Don't worry Glen, and no need to be disappointed. I assure you, Thais do have a strong sense of ethics and a moral compass. However, the typical Western visitor will sense little of this, if any at all. The reasons are cultural differences; how Thais express disapproval is very different from the way it is done in the West.

Western culture values frankness: it teaches us that in-the-face criticisms, loud and harsh remarks are a quick and effective way of pointing out and solving problems.

Thai culture, on the other hand, values subtlety. Saving face is of critical importance. Therefore, you will almost never hear Thais criticising each other, or the typical Western behaviour. Many Westerners mistaken this for all-inclusive tolerance and indifference, but nothing's further from the truth.

It takes a great deal of emotional sensitivity to feel the disapproval of your Thai peers. You need to see beyond the usual facade of polite smiles, read between the lines and understand body language. For them, this is the natural way; they were exposed to this since they were born. Those of us Westerners who truly want to fit into Thai culture will have to learn it, sometimes the hard way.

Quote[/b] ]I am trying to learn.. struggling but trying

Welcome to the club!

However, it is not mandatory, and my American friends don't understand why I do it. From childhood they were exposed to the "don't care what others think/say about you" attitude. It is a good defense mechanism in the West: sensitivity does no good in a culture where one is bombarded with harsh criticisms every day. Though when they find themselves in Thai culture, it's another matter. It must be difficult to instill empathy into such a deeply ingrained mentality. Like a rhinoceros amongst butterflies, really: with its thick skin it will never sense whether that light touch on its back was from a butterfly, or from bird droppings.

Quote[/b] ]If this is acceptable in any culture, surely there is something amiss?

Nothing's amiss, everything's fine over here, in the Land of Smiles.

Quote[/b] ]I have a friend who lives in Pattaya and her comment on the 'party people' ....... "I hate it"

Same here: my Thai family is highly critical of them - but this is expressed only amongst us, family members. Face-to-face, on the street, one would only see polite smiles. Don't be fooled!