Dear Pure, I can relate to what you are going through. My son and I had to leave home because his father was violent. We lost everything, stayed in different shelters for 2 years. My immigr. status expired, I couldn't work in USA, didn't have relatives here, money, nothing. I had to run around like crazy, fixed my status, got worker permit, rented an apartment, completed training, and now I'm looking for a job. I know, I know... Jobs are very scarce now, but I'm sure I'll get me one just because I believe it. I was very bitter too, but something shifted in me when I saw that I get things done. I had so many people help me to settle down at my new place - donating furniture, money, one church where I never been before, heard about us and had a fundraising to buy us kitchenware and such. They even gave my son new PSP for Christmas. The secret? I was grateful for every littlest thing when I was broke, and for most important thing - that my son was with me, though his father tried to take him. You sound very depressed to me, but believe me, you can do it. I hope I could inspire you a little bit. Blessings to you, honey!