[jenilopaz]

Thanks so much, you guys. I really appreciate it.

I tried that visualization technique, Pagan Medium, and felt better almost immediately! I had weird sensations all over my body, too, kind of like all that energy was bouncing around in me or something. Not only had I put a lot of energy into my mother, but into some other people I knew and loved, and I could feel it returning and re-filling me. Man, that was much-needed! I haven't felt quite as bad since. I still feel the sadness, obviously, but I don't feel as devastated or as attached, like I'm carrying around a burden that isn't my own.

I told my mom the things I was getting about her - the 70's thing, mostly, and that I knew it was that that was driving her into those mountains, not what she told us (the family). She said that was exactly right, and kind of laughed a little when I said I had seen the colors and styles of the 70's and stuff. I have not, however, told her that I felt her pain so acutely...especially now that I have tried to seal off that unhealthy connection by taking back my energy and putting up a sort of barrier.

I had a specific feeling that I should not send energy her way, or even pray or anything, that night when she did this. I don't know why, but that was the direction I got from my guide(s). That I should not send any energy, because it would just bounce off and would cost me too much effort needlessly. That seems to still be the direction my guides are giving me. This seems to be something between my mother and God, and I cannot interfere, for some reason - I've never heard such strange direction, but maybe it's for my emotional health...

Okay, so, just now I heard something to the extent of that my prayers have been heard already, and I don't need to make a specific effort to pray. That makes sense to me.

Man, these gifts carry so much with them! So much pain and yet at times, so much peace.

Thanks again, Pagan Medium and E1lycat.