[M_Marked]

Hello! My name is Kate. I'm pleased to have found this site.
I've been trying to get back on track in life, but I believe I am still WAY off. I am in a horrible situation (of course I know I got myself into it somehow, but how I'll fix it I do not know). I know I'm new here and everyone is quite busy, but if there is anyone who might find both the time and heart, I feel really lost and would appreciate some imput.
I had a baby a year ago, and it seems that the daddy doesn't care. He said all kinds of things one way or the other, but we don't speak now. I cannot drive because I am legally blind (I see a lot but certainly cannot drive) and i am also hearing impaired. It is not so easy to make friends or put a life together for my daughter and myself. I am broke broke broke ecxept for the 450 a month i'm getting from social security and now live with my father who is a dying addict. I have no friends and feel too estranged to be able to approach anyone without cowering in my grandiose insecurity. I am trying to sort out social services so I can get help with child care cost and get some kind of job and hopefully move out with my daughter. I feel awfully depressed as the only interactions I have are with my parents, and they are often very unhealthy and/or unpleasant interactions, and I have no siblings. I suppose the father never loved me after all, as he is still doing whatever he likes, living in his mom's basement. I'm sorry for whining online. i know I am being selfish and it is not becoming of me. Anyhow. I would like to move out, but do not when or how i will manage, and feel guilty about my fther. Maybe somebody with a knack for it can explain what the problem is with my baby's dad and why he doesn't seem to care? And what else I should be doing that I'm missing? And how can i be a better mother? And how much longer until my dad dies? ... I know I need to get my head out of the sand and take care of business and help others more, but maybe somebody could give me an inpartial hint. Maybe "Spirit" can't tell me what to do, but I'm baffled.