[oxinsnepe]

HI again Yinepu,

Your insight is so refreshing. I had failed to approach it from a more spiritual angle--I wa so busy looking at things psychologically, and focusing on turning the pain inward, blaming myself, that I neglected to believe in myself, to trust myself and my friends.

It makes perfect sense that if he could dazzle me with his beautiful words, why would he do anything different with those around him? The same could go for his abusive treatment of me.......I don't think I would be the only one to receive the abuse?

And it also makes sense that he would choose to be around the darker energies--The first girl he slept with was "handed over to him" (so to speak) by a guy he met at the metaphysical library--He told my ex that he should take her out, even though he knew that my ex was involved with me.....Even after he came back to me, and I asked him to stop talking with this man (who told my ex he was a sex/heroin addict) he still associated with him and just recently got an apartment from him)

That really stung--But I can see why he still chooses to be around him. Like you said, it's the darker energies.

I used to feel that the town he is living in now--had the potential to have a lot of good, or a lot bad parading around as good. There were people there who claimed to be light workers, but who lived a lifestyle contrary to what they preached. In many ways, it was disllusioning for me. I didn't like the pretentiousness I sometimes felt with the people there--but I did meet some very lovely, genuine souls there.

It seems my ex, though, has preferred to stay in the darker realm--Which is unfortunate, because he does have a lot of talent in writing. But his ego has become so massive since moving to that town--I used to feel like I had created a monster by introducing him to that town....I feel saddened that his shy demeanour is now replaced by such a huge, unfeeling ego.

When he used to call me, his voice would be very soft and gentle. When I spoke to him a few months ago, his voice had a sharp note of arrogance in it, and he thought dropping famous names and bragging about his accomplishments would impress me. It just wounded me even more---

He used to say I was precious and the most important and beautiful thing in his life.

I thank you for all of your support and insight, for gently steering me back toward a spiritual perspective...For reminding me how spirit truly works, and for encouraging me to be gentle on myself.

I am so happy that I know you now, and that you are a gift of love to me during this very dark time.

My psychic did say that she could see my ex becoming increasingly dark and ugly inside, a vampire....I shuddered when I heard that, but maybe she is seeing some of the truth about his situation.

I lament his fall from innocence, lament that he abused me and turned away from me, but I pray that all of this pain can be cleansed out of me so I can have more room in my soul to draw in beautiful, light and gentle people and experiences.

Love always......