[jyhugikuhih]

Subject: FW: I blame the teachers!
>

> >The following questions and genuine answers that were collated from
> >last year's GCSE exams.
> >
> >Geography
> >
> >Q: Name the four seasons.
> >
> >A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
>
> >Q. Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
> >
> >A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
>pollutants
> >like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
> >
> >Q: How is dew formed?
> >
> >A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
> >
> >Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
> >
> >A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
> >tends
>to
> >flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and
> >nature abhors a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
> >

> >Sociology
>
> >Q: What guarantees may a mortgage company insist on?
> >
> >A: If you are buying a house, they will insist you are well endowed.
> >
> >Q: In a democratic society, how important are elections?
> >
> >A: Very important. S*x can only happen when a male gets an election.
> >
>Q: What are steroids?
> >
> >A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
> >
> >Biology
> >
> >Q: What happens to your body as you age?
> >
> >A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
> >
> >Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes?
> >
> >A: Premature death.
> >
> >Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
> >
> >A. Keep it in the cow. [He got an A!]
> >
> >Q: How are the main parts of the body categorised? (e.g. abdomen.)
> >
> >A: The body is consisted into three parts - the ainium, the borax
> >and
>the
> >abdominal cavity. The anium contains the ain, the borax contains
> >the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five
> >bowels
> >
> >A, E, I, O & U
> >
> >Q: What is the Fibula?
> >
> >A: A small lie.
> >
> >Q: What does "varicose" mean?
> >
> >A: Nearby.
> >
> >Q: What is the most common form of birth control?
> >
> >A: Most people prevent contraception by wearing a condominium.
> >
> >Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section."
> >
> >A: The caesarean section is a district in Rome.
> >
> >Q: What is a seizure?
> >
> >A: A Roman emperor.
> >
> >Q: What is a terminal illness?
>
> >A: When you are sick at the airport.
>
> >Q: Give an example of a fungus. What is a characteristic feature?
> >
> >A: Mushrooms. They always grow in damp places and so they look like
> >umellas.
> >
>English
> >
> >Q: Use the word "judicious" in a sentence to show you understand its
> >meaning.
> >
> >A: Hands that judicious can be soft as your face.
> >
> >Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
> >
> >A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
>
> >Technology
>
> >Q: What is a turbine?
> >
> >A: Something an Arab wears on his head.