[MaickiP]

i may just be going through some temporary phase right now, but life with other-selves is definitely more difficult for me to cope with lately. in general i don't really talk unless necessary but i find that as my awareness grows i talk even less and crave more solitude. i don't even really like greetings most of the time (hey/what's up) because it seems so pointless, just like grunting or something. i'd much rather prefer just to nod my head, but even then it's like, ok, you're here i'm here no big deal, let's not get offended because i don't want to make eye contact. i somehow manage to get by at work in a small, crowded, noisy, and highly stressful office by a self-induced trance coupled with constant music to keep me in the zone. then i do yoga/meditation at lunch break (luckily there is woods by the office). anyway, i feel myself sort of drifting away further and further from everyone. i find myself being annoyed and even genuinely disturbed by people's attitudes and ignorance. basically i no longer have any desire to 'chit-chat' or socialize with meaningless activities such as television or video games, and i can feel people's (family and friends of course) confusion and even negativity towards me because they don't seem to understand my perspective at all and i wouldn't even want to try because then they'd probably just think i'm crazy. if they didn't, they still couldn't begin to grasp the state of mind since they've not even begun to search truth for themselves. anyway, this forum is definitely a help, but my next big goal is to become adept at leaving my body(astral projection) and fully lucid dreaming/remembering.