[arcaniagainee]

sometimes love is not giving them what they want.

it's about wanting it and needing it.

i have dealt closely with addicts the last few years, having been in relationships with two of them. i have come to some conclusions that addiction and life/ love have similarities.

addiction
in order to get on with their lives, by controlling their addiction, addicts/ alcoholics have to have two things, the want and the need.

the want is easy. most addicts, though not all, want to control their addiction. all addicts did not choose to be addicts, and more often than not they don't like it. the want is why, when they are forced to go into treatment (rehab), they appear to do well, and are very positive even themselves, easily being able to make or fool others to think they have found their way. without fail, however, these people go back to active addiction. without the need, they cannot control their addiction. what then, is the need?

the need is what they have after they have hit their bottom. the need is where they saw that the result of the addiction would result in their death or some other devastating outcome, and they chose life/ a better way. once the addict has the need, their path has been forever altered. even if they "fall off the wagon", they most often get back on the wagon with a ferver of a suffocating person gasping for air. with the want and the need, their life can continue. what is interesting is that because of the lows addicts reach, they often reverse life's polarity and become more spiritual because of it. as i have always said, "without the rain, one would not truly appreciate the sunshine".

love/ life
in order to evolve their spiritual development, souls have to have two things, the want and the need.

the want is inherent unconscious knowledge. in this every soul knows where the path leads, but is allowed to make choices so that the soul can learn from its mistakes.

i'm not sure who said "learn from the mistakes of others. you can't live long enough to make them all yourself", but they were wrong. you do make them all yourself.

"don't curse the darkness -- light a candle."
chinese proverb.

think of earth and its lessons as being out on a cold dark night. one is usually most desperate and miserable just before the light.
the need is where the soul comes to the realization that they have no control over their universe, but only over their own attitude and choices, and that only blind faith in love and goodness is required.

some wonderful quotes that go along these lines...

"i am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation i may be; for i have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances."
martha washington

"people grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. this is how character is built."
eleanor roosevelt

"it makes no sense to worry about things you have no control over because there's nothing you can do about them, and why worry about things you do control? the activity of worrying keeps you immobilized."
wayne dyer

“you're alive. do something. the directive in life, the moral imperative was so uncomplicated. it could be expressed in single words, not complete sentences. it sounded like this: look. listen. choose. act."
barbara hall

"when i hear somebody sigh, 'life is hard,' i am always tempted to ask, 'compared to what?'"
sydney harris


and finally, one about current world circumstances

"if there is righteousness in the heart, there will be beauty in the character.
if there be beauty in the character, there will be harmony in the family home.
if there is harmony in the home, there will be order in the nation.
when there is order in each nation, there will be peace in the world."
ancient chinese proverb