[yovbQVpD]

hello j,

i'm kind of chuckling while reading your post because for a long time i had the same thoughts as you have described. not laughing at you, just that i can relate to what you're saying and looking back i can tell you why i had those thoughts. i can relay to you why i was having similar issues, and you can see if it resonates.

for me it was because i kept going back and forth in what i believed as well as a lack of understanding how much anger i was holding onto. in the past couple of years catalyst has taught me a thing or two about how damaging it can be to hold onto anger from ones history, as a result i have been able to let a lot of that old residue go. i think this freed up some space for a better type of energy that has helped to keep me grounded in what i believe in. through out my life i have had spiritual experiences that led to more questions rather than lending a succinct answer. due to my impatience i would constantly question whether or not it was a "real" expereince or was it just all in my mind? somewhere along the way of my life i lost the ability to trust my intuition and be content with the "sense" or resonating with trusting my "i just know" instinct. upon recalling that, i can now appreciate the process as it unfolds as i realize that the end result is not always the point; and to be honest, what i refer to as the end result is usually only a piece of the puzzle.

i hope that i have helped and just want to add that discernment is necessary when navigating through life, learning to trust your self after a process of elimination and deduction is just as important.