[SteantyjetMaw]

makaveli, you sound a lot like an old warrior soul - kinda like me. the ancient code of the warrior is to take your fears and transmute them into courage and strength. it works. it can give an incredible "high." that makes it hard to quit. hi - i'm paul, and i'm a warrior soul. it's been thirty days since -- oh, what the heck -- i'm not sure i've even picked up my white chip yet, to be honest.

anyhow, at the core of the warrior soul seems to be a seed idea that if you don't win, then you deserve to die. for a warrior that works, see? because quite often if a warrior loses, then he *does* die. training for warriors means building in a level of shame that warriors find worse than death. if you read old literature, for instance homer's iliad (hope that title's ok, since it's a classic from 3,000 years ago!) we read about guys like achilles wanting to die an honorable death. deep down inside, he feels his warrior's truth -- dishonor is worse than death. wikipedia puts it this way:

"in many societies in which a specialized warrior class exists, specific codes of conduct (ethical codes) are instituted in order to ensure that the warrior class is not dangerous to the rest of society. warrior codes often have common features and usually value honour in the forms of faith, loyalty and courage. examples include the medieval knights' code of chivalry, the kshatriya code of dharma in india or japan's samurai class which uses a warrior code known as bushido (the way of the warrior) and xiá in china. see also noblesse oblige [...] warriors' honor is dependent on following the code. common virtues in warrior code are mercy, courage and loyalty."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/warrior

now to be honest with the here & now, i also have to say that present-day society is enough to teach people to be competitive, for reasons that other posters in this thread have done a good job of articulating. it's not necessary to be an old warrior soul to be a mindless competitor - it just helps. at this time, i have a deep inner feeling of wanting to find old warrior souls, as many as i can, and say "hey guys, it's ok - time to lay down all our weapons. our old war is over, and our new one is just beginning."

now about that new "war." it is an inner war. we have no external foe. our real foe now is our self, our own souls, our own warrior traits. i seem to be discovering that it takes all the courage, self-discipline, and all the other old warrior traits i can muster just to live peacefully and let things be.

in fact, it's the hardest thing i ever tried to do. i could quite happily charge ten thousand armed spearman, die a thousand deaths, and it would be a piece of cake to me compared to putting down weapons and loving the world around me, just as it is. war? battle? competition? i aint' even seen any of them, not til i started trying to live peacefully.

i'll put it this way - my latest teacher is my most recent animal totem - the rabbit. lol can you imagine?? i feel in my soul that i have been at thermopylae, troy, nearly every ancient battle that ever took place for the holy land, and nearly every war, battle, and skirmish that took place in britain. and yet, my most demanding teacher ever is a little furry baby bunny rabbit.

in fact, one of the things about my fellow travelers here in divine cosmos is my clear intuitive sense that they are peacemakers. i respect them. they are adults, and i am an infant, in the skills of peace.

hi. i'm paul, and i'm a warrior. anybody know where i can pick up a white chip?