[NumDusthouh]

heloo eyez and all!

i just finished a groundcourse in mediumship this autumn. we were primarily working with reading persons and getting in contact with deceased realatives etc. as for me i never got any contact with pple who had passed to the other side, but i saw images when meditating and doing psychokinesis that were extremely accurate. when we were sitting togheter in a group (not one to one) we were asked to do the same thing, try to get a message through from a deceased relative or otherwise close person.

i had messages through my classmates one from bob riedel on the forum just prior to his passing, but me myself only had "visions" that semed to be for the collective. the last time i saw a lightbeing standing like a cross, no face but with a strong positive feeling about it. eyes were all around and a "coil" like the ones made from licorice you can eat.

one young woman with a natural skill for channeling told me that the eyes and the coil were common when one's guides were present...i have a hughe "cast-outcomplex" and always find reasons for not being accepted and seen as a threat..not in the beginning, i'm very social, but as soon as i'm trying to succeed or am close to a break-through, i am rejected/sabotage myself.

even now, coming into the spiritual realm a part of me is convinced that i'm not going to be allowed to develop this without hughe resitance and sacrifice. i know the resistance i experience from the outside reflects the resistance i have inside and i'm constantly trying to relate in a new way to correct my own faults and lack of faith. doing a lot of astrology i know my horoscope, and the transits for today perfectly reflect this post.

i'm not asking for advice, just feel thankfulness for having found this post today and the opportunity for me to formulate this dilemma knowing that someone may read it, at least the mods

liliane the transit