[Plokiikmol]

i think i went throught the hell i did, to understand and help others going through crap.

the same crap can fly at me now though and not hurt me at all, but because of it i can help someone else in the same situation who would otherwise not feel comfortable if i couldn't relate to them from first hand experience.

another example is, i hate smoking, but will smoke and drink around smokers and drinkers so they won't feel judged or condemned when i am around.

i tried for years to help people without the smoking and drinking, but they never felt comfortable around me as if i were suzie goody two shoes, or they would think i was a nark or something, so now i smoke around smokers, and don't smoke around non smokers etc.

can't wait to be back in california again where nobody smokes though, lol...i really don't like it at all.

but also, if i wasn't robbed, raped, scammed, abused, blah blah blah while growing up, then there are sooooooo many people i could never have helped.

now i have it pretty darn good though, so now things that seem "bad" to other people roll off me like water off a ducks back, and i hardly even feel it, just more observe, analyse, and act or do nothing, depending on the situation.

the universe really does love and protect you when you let it. we are loved beyond belief. one day you just realize how precious every single individual person, animal, mineral, cell, and atom is, and it is amaizing.

almost like we are really just playing a wayyyyyy high tech super cool virtual reality game, and in the end, we are allways fine and allways ok.