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thank you so much firewalker, for posting this. my only contribution to your asking for suggestions is my own experience that is similar to yours, and my own appeal for advice as to how this can be reconciled with the desire to practice sto.

your description of your relative is familiar, and the response from muse is also familiar. we know the mechanics of the solution. but it's just not that easy when it comes to facing the situation and dealing with it.

i have had a simple solution to dealing with negative people and negative situations. run away. guess what, it doesn't work. it may be a relief in the short term, but ultimately the situation needs to be faced.

i don't waaanaaa gooo baaack!!! i have to leave here soon. and go back and face the music.

ok, so i'm a coward, and immature, and anything else you may want to throw at me, i'll agree with it all, i'm not proud.

i've cut myself off from literally everyone except one or two people who probably consign my s*** as they say in 12 step. they tell me what i want to hear, so i will tolerate their presence.

something wrong here somewhere. i don't want to get hurt, so i avoid. i don't want to say things i might regret, so i avoid. i don't want the responsibility of material things, so i sell my house and become a vagabond. i don't want the discomfort of working for too long because it gets boring, so i have short term jobs, not a recipe for success by any means.

my father just died and my mother wants me to come and help look after her. i had promised myself and her i would do that. but that means putting myself in a position that in my mountain from a molehill mentality says is worse than death. i must face my sister. her and my mother combined make hell seem the better option.

i have successfully avoided this for awhile time now. even when i stayed with my parents last year, whenever my sister came over, i would hide in my room. eventually i couldn't stand it anymore and ran away to the other side of the world, and here i am.

firewalker, your relative is a piece of cake compared to this poor benighted woman. i won't go into details because that will just feed it, but imagine the worst. my mother is extremely negative also, and living with her will not be pleasant to say the least. but my conscience won't allow me to avoid this one.

so yes, advice will definitely be appreciated. but no spiritual platitudes please, i'm sure we've heard it all and know it all - i read the acim many times over to drum those principles into this stubborn mind. and just about every other piece of spiritual literature you can think of. and had loads of teachers.

this is about doing it. just do it. how do you practice sto with someone who makes you want to throw up? and you've done all the self talk about how they are asking for love, and what a terrible life they've had, etc. etc.

and i'm not setting myself above her. no i'm not. i'm no better. and we are one, after all. i'm not just saying that. how do i get strong so that none of it can hurt me anymore????

i love you all. love, larissa