[TypeTeasiaDer]

hey peoples!

what's up? i'm gonna be pretty clean here (some would say cold).

man i feel ya, firewalker & larissa, those family members seem to have a backdoor key by right of birth it seems sometimes.

i would say to both of you: pick an option and then be at peace with it. doesn't matter which one you pick, to bless them with or without your presence, but pick one. the entire battle in going on in you so start with making peace there.

some one asked for a lack of platitudes... allow me: are you so special, that there will be no love for this person if you do not give it? no really.

i'm trying to get you really detached to outcome so that you can make a decision about what you will choose to do based on spirit and heart and not emotion (emotion being: mental "feeling" carried out of present moment), etc.

see you could decide to stay (stay with mom/ visit tv control man) and if you do it the right way... you will laugh the whole time... sometimes outside, sometimes inside. yes, you will feel love for the person and yourself. that's why you laugh. when they do or say things against your being... (because you have made this decision originally from a place of consideration for both you and them)... they sound ludicrous!

what if it gets to be too much? leave. no really. you have to have the option that you are willing and commited to leave if necessary... if not... you are trapped. and we all know how that feels.

i have had family that i chose to not deal with.. some of them were into drugs and could be violent at times (not towards me, but i'd seen them w/ other family). but that's different, you say. nooooo... it's not. physical abuse vs emotional abuse. decide how much up front your willing to take and when it tops that amout you bail. you will only allow others to abuse you as much as you are willing to abuse yourself (from the four agreements).

i mean really... you know, that husband beating up that wife? well, he needs love too... maybe it could be someone else (like an older brother or something) who won't get pommeled. really people. why is it that you are less of a person for not being the great "one" to do the job? maybe it's someone else's job, whose more qualified, whose better prepared to handle this particular situation and to be honest, you are just in the way! sometimes it takes a humble person to go: this is not my area of expertise, maybe someone else can do this better.

i certainly feel it would be hard for me to remain in unconditionally love for someone who was beating on me (or whom i feared would be beating on me)... i would hope i would give myself permission to leave especially if i could not find a way to be there in a way that allowed both of us to experience or grow in joy. in otherwords, if your presence is not helping the situation, maybe it's ok to remove yourself from it.

if you can flow with it, go with it, but if you can't... just go.

i do not know what the answer is for either of you, but i wish you much support and love and you to find the proper path for you with whatever strength and power you need to walk it.

well... i usually get things thrown at me when i start on my tough love sharings... so again, if i've offended anyone please feel free to totally ignore.

much peace and love

darlyne