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dear tamarie

there is nothing wrong with you. truly. nothing.

i say this because it is true. i can only speak for myself, and i am fairly new to the site, but...
if you are here, you were drawn here, and to be drawn here is to be apart of this awakening.


i read many of the posts here. (sometimes until i feel like i have circuit overload) i seldom post anything. i feel very new to some of the thoughts and concepts presented here even though i have read quite a bit of david's reading list.
i have had many spiritual experiences in my life, many of them before i knew about this site. over the years i have learned a couple of things about spiritual experiences:

1) they often come when you least expect them to.
2) they sometimes aren't what you are expecting or want for that matter!

and most of all...

they never come when i try to force the issue, or try too hard.

as i read your post the thought came to me that maybe you are trying too hard. i know this might sound trite, or corny, but believe me it's true. sometimes when we see things happening to other people that we would love to have happen to us, we actually try too hard to receive it!! it's like pushing away the very thing you want most.

you said that you don't meditate. one thing i have consistently read and heard is that meditation will help you in many different ways. i have come to believe this. i don't know if others always receive insight every time they meditate, but i know that i don't. i am a "meditation beginner". i have read a lot of different posts and researched different websites about meditation, but i still don't really feel like i've "got it" yet.
i have started to think that meditation is a process, not something that just happens overnight.
is there someone you feel close enough to to try meditating with? any classes near where you live?
you might try just desiring to feel relaxed afterward, nothing more....

as for your other comments:
have food (live in earthquake territory) - not moving.
haven't felt different.
no uplifting dreams or premonitions in dreams.
not psychic - really don't want to be - lot of responsibility there...
not against religion, but do not want to be involved in one - (been there done that)
love and respect the one creator
open minded - trying to use discernment in decisions

i wonder if we took a poll how many people would be willing to share their frustrations about some of the things you listed???

again, tamarie, don't give up. ask the creator to be able to feel loved. state that you need to feel loved. then sit back, relax and don't try to do anything.

i'll be thinking of you this week and sending you love and light. (and trying to meditate!!)

love & light
alloura