[Salliter]

[*]i don't feel the urge to gather food/supplies or move to a safe area[/list] maby you don't need to.

• i don't experience synchronicities

95% of synchronicities have to do with the stuff in your subconscious. if your carrying around the belief in your sub conscious that synchronicities are a fuzzy idea and nothing more then even when they happen you will fail to recognize them.

• i haven't felt 'different' in any way, shape, or form than what i normally would feel prior to first discovering d wilcock and project camelot

most people are or have been on that boat up to this point. usually if you have esoteric gifts you will know about it before you ever study it.

• i have not had any spiritual/uplifting or future premonition dreams

very few people do.

• i am in no way psychic - although my desire to want to be 'special' sometimes creates pangs of ache in my chest

let go of any desire you have to be judged by others as special. that is the ego. e.g.o. = edging god out

• i don't meditate - i have no patience to do so, but mostly, deep down inside i have no desire to do so (is it really that necessary?) - but on the occasions i have tried, i didn't feel any different in any way

i do not think that anyone has a natural desire to want to meditate. the thing you have to realize is that when you where born you had an ability to be completely in the moment. no one had ever tought you to focus on the emotions of the past or worry about the future.

you don't have the patience to meditate because your consciousness is focused on what will happen and what has happend. when you are split like this there is no room in the conscious mind for the moment.

the meditation teaches you to allow yourself to return to your original natural state of being in the moment. this is where patience is born from. consider it like working out. it is a pain in the butt at first, but once you get going you wonder why you did not start sooner.

• i am strongly against religion - have felt all my life that there was something not right about it - and i'm wholehartedly for the one creator - for me, and i believe that we are all a part of the whole

nothing wrong with that, religion seperates people into groups. we are all one.

• i am extremely open-minded (regardless of what you may read above) more so than anyone else in my life, yet nothing of significance ever happens to me

you are programming the world around you to never show you anything significant. your consciousness determines the world you experience.

basically, i am totally at a loss as to what i am even doing here at this time, and why i am extremely interested in these topics if whatever is happening or is going to happen seems to be passing me by as if i was completely invisible. i can only surmise that i am destined to die at some point before or on 2012, as i seem to be ignored by the cosmos! you are not being ignored. your core beliefs are shielding you from the neat stuff happening. the only way to get to those core belifes and change them is to clear out the giant pile of junk on top of them. you do this by training yourself to be in the moment.

i really don't understand why others here and others who are 'awake' and 'aware' are experiencing most if not all of the points above, and i am not. i feel like an outcast! due to this reason, i can barely remain positive these days! it's like i am constantly bored and disgruntled if my day doesn't go the way i would like it to. am i a waste of time and space? you have taken on the role of the victim. this more than likely stems from being exposed to people in this consciousness during your life. in order to make radical changes in your consciousness you are going to have to stop this. the best way to do this is to get your mind out of the past by training yourself to be in the moment. this disgruntled mind set is due to focusing on the emotions of the past. even if it was 5 min ago it is still the emotions of the past.

i hope there are others out there who are in the same situation as me, who feel as lost as i, but based on the type of 'special' members i see at this forum, i doubt it! the people who are not seeking help like you are and are still ignoring the greater picture all together are in a much worse perdicament than you are. you are taking the first steps in the right direction by asking for help.