[Rapiddude]

hello to absolutely everyone who gave up some of their precious time to respond to my original post. it means so much to me - it truly does.

i've been reading through the replies each day and thinking on some of the things that have been said. i haven't replied because i've been so gobsmacked that i didn't know where to start! and who to thank first!

i still don't know what to say...but i think it's only right that i write something to show my appreciation and to let you all know that i do now feel some sort of . . . family kinship/belonging . . . with this life and all that's in it.

i have to expand on and explain something that i wrote at the start, and that was the point that i don't feel the urge to gather food/supplies or move to a safe area. i wrote this as i've been spending some time (too much time perhaps) at project avalon, and plently of its members are talking so strongly (and seem so dedicated) about finding a safe area to survive the coming times! that includes the very members of my australian ground crew! and that's why i wonder whether i am meant to 'survive' the years to come as we head towards 2012, because i have no desire to be a part of any ground crew or 'survivilist camp', and feel no inner yearning, however small, to even worry about it! yet, i find myself doubting the authenticity of my own 'lack of inner yearning' and wonder whether it simply comes down to pure laziness, or just that i can't imagine my quality of life changing so much, or just the fact that i don't have to worry about it because i won't be around (dead) to experience it.

i really get what you are all saying to me, and perhaps i should open my eyes and my heart to your words and stop wasting energy worrying about such things as above. but can you see why i'm concerned, when others around me are so pedantic?

thanks again to all the wonderfully loving people here on divine cosmos - you kick project avalon's a**! :d

with love,

tamara