[casefexas]

wow foo,

thats quite a post and i'm not sure i'm the one to give out advice, but i'll give 'er the ole' college try...

i really appreciated what you wrote here: i have maintained a somewhat arrogant view of just how silly all of this is. none of it makes much sense, you know? but i come full circle to appreciating the people who have somehow made this thing work. it takes some serious fire in the belly to accomplish anything here. so i have become very humbled by this planet that we live on, and the people that live on it. the appreciation part is so important, much more than any of us realize. humility's always a good lesson too.

but, then you have written this: but, you have to ask yourself, what kind of a world is it when fantastic, amazing people such as gandhi, martin luther king, and jesus are assassinated?

the confusion that has gripped me lately is bordering on unbearable. if this earth is a school, and the harder the knocks then the bigger the lesson, then wow, i have learned so much already. i would remind you of the saying, "this density is not for understanding." you'll drive yourself crazy trying to understand it all (and it seems you have been). i wouldn't dare try to give the answer to that question, as it is paradoxical in nature.

if i may, could you be a bit more specific on this: but then i see my mom and how much she worries about me and my well being. i simply cannot follow through with this hard knock thing anymore. that may be where you could get the best advice...

hang in there! for each up, there's a down and vice-versa. troubling times today are to be followed by better times tomorrow, etc., etc.

art