[Oberjej]

mmm it might be me, but some of you sound slightly bitter or synical about this whole 'there's only one of us here' deal..

this is only a continuation of what the law of one says in its own way, wrapped and presented in a different way. we are all the creator.. the splitting of 'i am' to 'i am me' in order that we can get perspective and get a subjective understanding of the self. as they said, i am can't look back at itself.. its just awareness.


i recently caught a cold. for the first few days, i felt something different than i normally did when i experienced being ill.. it was kind of interesting.. like experiencing the experience of having a cold, thus being part of something bigger and it felt good. part of me was exilarated to be sick, to experience something in a higher mindset, it didn't bother me.. i kind of enjoyed the experience of being sick. after a few days of it though, i got tired of being sick and uncomfortable and sorta came down to earth.

i think this is what they are trying to convey, what every one is trying to convey. pain.. suffering.. are all part of feeling individual and separated. once we get past that, to the understanding of 'i am, regardless of who i am' then everything becomes an experience of the creator and since all is the creator.. nothing is unpleasant.. it is all just a cosmic dance of infinite beauty and understanding. ever since i was a child, regardless of the things i had done, i always had a sense that everything was valuable as an experience. while i wouldn't do some of the things i did again.. i wouldn't give up the experiences either.. good or bad.. they are all good in the end.

but of course, like most things, this concept is incredibly hard to get across in the realm of logicical thinking.. its a very intuitive concept and it begs you to look past your ego to the greater sense of self to realize the creator cannot turn around and slap himself, nomatter how hard he tries.. he is.. and so are we... every experience is just the creator.

part of my past time activity is to do a little role play.. i play a character that interacts with other characters.. we generate plots that we get into and work on.. playing out scenarios and having fun with each other. often times these scenarios are life and death.. massive drama and suffering.. emotional explorations, character development and the like. at one point i realized this was an analogy of our own reality.. while my character was going through massive drama and suffering.. i myself was having fun.. i knew everything that was going on, everything that was hidden from my character, the plots and the bigger picture of where i wanted my character to go. in essence, i was the higher self of my character.. i understood that while the suffering was intense and my character disliked it to a great extent, in the bigger picture it was something that was necessary for my character to understand itself better. for a moment, i felt very fractal, interacting with myself on a level that hinted at the greater picture. down here, it looks like c***, feels like c*** and we look at each other going.. why could we possibly want to continue hurting one another?

from up there however.. we understand that they are just experiences.. transient and ephemeral.. they last but a moment in the bigger picture and what lasts is the growth that results from it. it is necessary, in its way, to help us understand ourselves in a way that nothing else can help us understand. yes, there is only one of us here.. and to that one self.. every experience is a glorious expression of consciousness exploring itself.