[Thigmaswams]

hi.

it is neat rhonda that you mention being a child and thinking you did not need or want that stuff. i too felt this way, but also started drinking myself at around 28 years old. i couldn't stop either. i couldn't understand and felt like such a hipocrate,and then realized that yes! i was being a hipocrate.....why? (and why is that a good thing? lol)

it made me realise i had unresolved anger and unforgiveness in my heart for drinkers (and smokers) because i grew up in a smoking and drinking home, and i was being very harsh and unloving towards smokers and drinkers in my heart because i had never done it myself.

then one day when i was feeling the lowest of my low (throwing a poor me pitty party daily, because of the unforgiveness) i started drinking myself, and within a few weeks smoking as well......

well, then finally i could see things from their point of view, and how hard it actually was to quit etc.....i could understand how it must have ruled their lives etc etc.

it wasn't until this point that i was able to forgive and stop judging them, that i got my control back.

i still drink around drinkers and smoke around smokers though, which i think is partly so they don't feel judged by me, and i don't start judging them? still trying to figure out that one. i am 35 now, but moving to a place where no one drinks or smokes so i can have a break from it. i can understand it now, and controll it, but i still don't want to be around it now that i "get it" a bit more.

mellisamouse.