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**lopaayd** · 08-15-2008, 03:12 PM

i'd say the big trick when it comes to loving is knowing when to have boundries. knowing when to stop being tolerant and stand up to someone.

you can yell at someone with love, to protect them and yourself from their actions.

i had a very hard time with this, and would let people do whatever they wanted because i wanted to be tolerant and loving. i've learned that people are sometimes better off if you push back on their behaviors, as a way of guiding them toward better self care.

you don't have to stop the murder because you hate him, you can simply protect him from the negative effect of his actions.

it seems like this is one of the lessons i asked to learn, because the person who taught me it was my mother.

08-15-2008, 03:12 PM	#14
lopaayd Join Date Oct 2005 Posts 511 Senior Member	i'd say the big trick when it comes to loving is knowing when to have boundries. knowing when to stop being tolerant and stand up to someone. you can yell at someone with love, to protect them and yourself from their actions. i had a very hard time with this, and would let people do whatever they wanted because i wanted to be tolerant and loving. i've learned that people are sometimes better off if you push back on their behaviors, as a way of guiding them toward better self care. you don't have to stop the murder because you hate him, you can simply protect him from the negative effect of his actions. it seems like this is one of the lessons i asked to learn, because the person who taught me it was my mother.
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