[papadopul]

hi all. . i am new to this forum, but have been an avid ponderer of david's work for quite some time. today i sent him an email with a question which i think might be on the minds of many. i don't expect a personal answer, but i thought it might make for an instructive blog post in the future.

i also would like to put it out there to everybody on this forum, as i'm sure it is a question that is not unique to me, and perhaps somebody else has already found the answer. cc of the email below:

ever since i was very young, i have been making attempts at having contact with higher consciousness. it has taken various forms over the years, but the goal was always the same: to have a direct, physical, experience of a being of higher consciousness, or even my own higher consciousness.

according to my reasoning, and understanding of "how things work", this should not really be a difficult thing to do, so long as my belief system allows for it, and it does not interfere with free will. yet for all of my attempts, which range from simple asking or requesting, to intense prayer, to outright demanding, to simply attempting to realize that higher consciousness is already here in the present moment, i have never once been successful. to be sure, i know that i have had many moments of connection with higher consciousness via my dreams, intuitions, and things of that sort, but i always think to myself: why can't i just have a one-on-one conversation with one of these beings? certainly other people claim to have had these kinds of experiences, why not me??

i have spent countless hours trying to rationalize why this happens, or rather doesn't happen. all that i am left with is that there must be, at some level, a willful denial on the part of hc beings, and/or my own higher self, to fulfill this desire. it is a true desire, very deep-seated, and with pure intention, that has been with me as far back as i can remember. all i am left with is that there must be some very good reason why this desire has not been fulfilled, and the only very good reason i can come up with is that it would somehow violate the first distortion of the law of one. . although i don't really see why this would be the case. according to my reasoning and understanding, this should be a fairly simple request, that can be fulfilled in such a way as to not interfere with the free will of others who do not "believe" in such things. any explanations out there??