[mashabox]

hey all!

well, so... here is my first post in this forum.
i have been reading for a while and been wanting to register and start to participate for a while now...
i decided to register today because i got confused today and thought the forum would be a good place to start:

so i was reading this text on the project camelot website that led me to another website that is somehow connected to some community in canada, which is preparing for some doomsday scenario.
they have apparently built an underground "base" of some sort to protect themselves and the community... i haven't actually got to read so much - as i was browsing through pictures of this "base" and as this community is located in canada and as one of my close future plans are moving to canada (and i have been a bit obsessed about canada a lot lately, and about living closer to nature) , well, then i was just thinking to myself something like that maybe i should investigate into this community further and that maybe its good that i wanna move to canada and then i could go to this base - or at least it was a thought similar to that. i also knew i shouldnt get carried away into all this "gloom & doom" and fear issues...
well, just as i was thinking this thought, and i didnt even finsh it - a big black spider came walking next to my laptop! i kind of got startled by it and it kind of scared me for a second and then, i guess it got scared by me and ran away and i couldn't find it anymore!
now, our house is sort of full with spiders, we let them be and as a favor they catch all the mosquitos
but the thing is this spider was of a totally different kind/species. the ones that live our house are those with very thin fragile long legs and a tiny body and the one that i saw today was black and... well like a small tarantula!
and!!! i think i have also seen the same one about three weeks ago - i was cleaning next to the windows and it actually fell on my head!!!

its also funny, because this happened after listening to david's latest radio interview/talk today and there he mensions that whole thing with the tarantula that happened to him.

so yeah, after all this long intro...
i was wondering if any of you have might have a clue or an insight to what this might mean. i was searching a bit about spider totems but i am still confused.my immediate thought was that it means that i should stay away from such "doomy" things but i am not sure if that is all there is to it
and i am not sure if that's what it wants to tell me!
so if any of you have any ideas, i would love to hear them
sorry if my text is a bit confused, this is sort of my state of mind lately.

so i thank you for reading and love to you all.

roi

update:!!!

ok, so i was writing this message yesterday but could not post it yet because i had just registered and wasn't approved yet.
so here i am in the kitchen making myself a sandwich and i was thinking i should check if i can post the message yet.
so i was thinking about the message and then my thoughts wandered to how , when i was a little kid , i thought i felt so different and how i didn't belong and that i knew had a mission on this world and how now i feel a bit lost!
and then! i saw the spider again! i am sure its the same one!
so now i really want to understand!!!