[AndyColemants]

wow, i loved your words. everything you said could be applied to me (except for gender preference and the vision you had with d's channeling). i have found forgiveness to be at the top of the list of "things to do" . i don't think there can be much progress without that happening first.

as i read in my favorite spiritual book, forgiveness is not acknowledging a wrong action and saying it's ok, it's realizing that there is nothing to forgive. that's a difficult concept to assimilate, i've been working on it for years. as with most realizations, it changes every day as i evolve.

the way i deal with it now is that if i feel a resentment towards someone, i change my perspective and try to see things from their point of view. that's just a first step. as i learn to forgive myself, i extend that to the others. it's really not easy, as opposed to the simplicity of the concept. i have tried to move away from those who are challenges, but as long as there is an emotional charge when i think of that person, i know my process with them is not finished.

i've realized that those i am still angry with have nothing to do with my anger. they were just doing what was best for them, it was me who decided they were to blame for my pain. not playing the blame game sounds easy to do, but is certainly not, at least for me. i can do it easily with daily minor contacts, but those lingering emotionally charged situations are the worst.

i'm thinking that as i learn to let go of blame in everyday situations, those past situations get healed. there is no amount of will power that's going to work, it's a daily mental emotional workout, which comes about from being truly motivated to move forward, whatever it takes.

anyway, i'll stop now, gone on for long enough. david has attracted a lovely set of people. this forum is a precious opportunity to share and make connections.