[Vezazvqw]

sinc is right.....last night i spent a lot of my time talking to people about this, and i told them about a dream i had that triggered the end of my door-mat days...

there was me, and two others that were also me, and people were being rude and disrespectful to the three me's every where we went. stealing from us, lying to us, and not appreciating our love etc.....we all three kept just denying it was happening and letting it slide.....but then, near the end of my dream, two of the "me's" turned around and they were my two real life little sisters....well, then i went and got mad and stood up for my little sisters and confronted all the people who hurt them, and would no longer tollerate them being around my little sisters etc, because i love them so much that i protect them like a total "mama bear".......well, when i woke up, the message was loud and clear to me.

i can not allow things to happen to me that i would not allow to happen to those i love, because to truly love others i have to love me too....i realized that whenever i let people hurt me, it also hurt everyone who loves me, and i definatly do not want to do that....so i removed a whole lot of people from my life, and things just went up-hill from there.

i still try to help these people from a distance, but will never let them be a real part of my life again, never in a way that they could hurt me.

also, as for "family obligations"...family or not we all need to be self responsible, sooooo if, and it is a big if, we are allways doing things for them that they should be learning to do for themselves, than that is also indirectly unloving because they should not be dependant on us or anyone else for that matter, they need to be free from codependanies to have true freedom and self respect, so besides taking care of your own business and not being a burden on others, they should not make you feel obligated in any ways.....this could even be a service to self, having others dependant on you. it is healthiest for us all to be only dependant on ourselves and our higher selves.....that is true freedom. so sometimes by not helping,(if it is something they could do for themselves) and being a catalist for them to learn to help themselves, you are actually doing them a favour and showing them a higher respect.