[unsamiSlini]

i think what david wilcock said about free will is the key to some basic understanding, there's no "good" or "bad" choices or even "better" choices there are only choices and whatever you choose will lead to challenges and opportunities for you to grow.

we're not trying to be as "godly" as possible, as we are already god. our goals are not to become like gandhi because he was a 'good' man but to be the best person you can be.

each choice you make in your day when it relates to others is what this is all about, did you help that old lady cross the road or just hurry on by? gandhi wasn't there to help her but you were, even if it made you late for something important, that is your purpose, to choose to help or not.

here's the example i like the most. paul gauguin, he was basically a jerk, he left his wife and kids and social responsibilities and ran away to be utterly selfish, never giving an inch to 'be nice'. his antagonistic nature caused poor old vincent van gogh to cut part of his ear off and paul eventually died in poverty riddled with disease with as many people hating his guts as those who loved him.

yet, it's paul gauguin! his art and romantic story makes humanity as a whole a better thing. how many artists have been influenced by his work and life story? heck, my favorite novel, the moon and sixpence (by somerset maugham) was inspired by his life. we are all richer because he chose to be a selfish b******.

so i say make a choice and don't whine about it, just trust that if you are following your heart that you are doing something worthy for you.