[Golotop]

oh yes, and the 3 wave thing. i remember first being exposed to this idea in a get together with someone who was bringing info from the [a channelled group] (bunch of crazies, i thought to myself) many years ago. the woman said that everybody who was in the room was part of the first wave of volunteers coming as lightworkers to help this planet, and that we had the most difficult job and therefore we were the strongest and best of the volunteers. that was news, since i felt about as strong and effective as a gnat.

no way, i thought would i volunteer to come to this god forsaken place and go through all this hell. still, that episode stayed in my mind, and now a lot of pieces are falling into place. i believe she did talk about it being 3 waves.

so thanks, foosnik, for bringing this up. i love all these pieces of the puzzle coming together, and being able to share the information with the wonderful peole on this forum.

yes, yes and yes. i think the first wave is the strongest and had a much more difficult time because the world they entered into was still so raw and entrenched in self-defense. i have often thought this way of my mother. she was born into a sadly misguided family that was so confused, damaged and hurt that they had all turned abusive toward each other. and my mom seemed so out of place in the family. it was a hard fought battle for my mother to unlearn all of the defense mechanisms that her ancestors had employed for their survival and change the pattern of abuse for herself and her kids. whereas many people, including probably myself (maybe i am selling myself short), would have started spinning out in a downwards spiral of self-pity and anger. but she fought like a gladiator for emotional stability, health and happiness. i truly love and respect her and i feel her struggle was much harder than mine is.

i have another story for you. this story applies to what you were saying about the fact that you could be going through all of this in order to understand and help heal someone else. i have also learned that it is much easier to empathize with someone if you have experienced it first hand. my cousin said something to me the other day. she had a really hard childhood and has had a difficult adult life as well. now she is about to adopt a little girl. her and her husband were looking through the different profiles of the children in the orphanage and they both immediately fell in love with this one little girl for seemingly inexplicable reasons. when they met with the social worker and heard the little girl's story they found out that her story was virtually identical to my cousin's. so my cousin said to me that she truly feels she went through all the crap that she did so that she could help this little girl. in any case, who better to help the child then someone who has been through, and triumphed over, the same circumstances? pretty amazing, if you ask me.

it makes me feel a little less alone and out of place being a member of these forums here. even my own family thinks i am kind of crazy. but i think we all have to forget a lot of things when we come here in order to really soak up the true human experience.

thank you to everyone for being loving and open-minded,
foo