[zibTefapparia]

i've been suffering hellish experiences, not physically but psychically. i've had suicidal impulses, but not the "courage" to carry them through. most pple would say it's a cowardice to commit suicide...i don't think one can generalize upon that, especially if not having had these feelings oneself; i'm grateful though that i didn't do it.

i have problems with the concept of the death of jesus as being "unnecessary", then you could say that all suffering is "unneccesary". it gives me a feeling of disrespect if not formulated otherwise. you can think that the death of a "selfmurderbomber" as we say in sweden is unnecessary....i think they are all desperate pple, brainwashed to believe they are doing the right thing, even mentally disabled pple are now being used by the powerelite to explode themselves..they don't even understand what is going to happen to them.....

nothing that happens is "unnecessary". it's happening that's all, and we-who have the grace of being able to have to relate to what's happening in the most loving and enlightened way possible.

this is how i deeply feel at the moment, i'm open to alternative prerspectives but also veeeery sensitive to"spiritual hubris".

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