it is precisely because she does have this power over you to make you "doubt" yourself that will make any woman shy away from any type of romantic relationship. which is what i'm assuming this relationship is, or at least one that you wish to be more intimate than most relationships. if her simple opinion of you can bring you crumbling down what does that say about you to her. she has good reason to act or feel the way she does. yeah, woulds, coulds and shoulds work real well in imagination land but are mostly detrimental to how things actually work in relationships. while immersing yourself in the study of 2012 type material it may be somehwta of a challenge not to forget your masculine side of being human, of being a man. it may be that it is more important to become an ideal man first, then to become that which a 4th density character requires of you. walk before you run kind of thing. it's nice to want to be love this and love that, but not at the exspense of balance with your masculinity. you have to be firm in your beliefs, unswaying to your purpose. a woman can pick up on insecurity from a mile away...and no woman, other than one playing a motherly role finds this attractive.